i could say it twice

7

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"What?" I say dumbfounded.

"What what?" Jace tries to play innocent.

"You know what." I tell him.

"No. I don't. "

"How 'bout we have this conversation when I'm skinny," I tell him. "And then maybe I'll consider believing you." Then I mutter, "Although it might not do you too much good whether I believe you or not because you ruined most of my life."

Suddenly his lips are on mine and I'm pressed against the lockers. I start to kiss him back, but then something inside me snaps and I push him away. "No," I murmur.

"Don't go out with John, Del."

"First of all, when did you start 'loving' me, and second of all, it's not your business.

"I think I loved you as soon as we met." I gape at him.

"That's how you show your love? By torturing me and taunting me and making fun of me and..." I break into tears, and slide down the wall. He sits down beside me.

"I didn't know what love was and I didn't know how to express it... I knew for sure that day when we were walking home."

"I don't believe you. You'redoing the same thing you accused John of, you hypocrite. Wait. Maybe  you're not... who put you up to this? How much are they paying you? You know what, Jace? It's the last day of school. You've hurt me more times than I can count, Jace.  But tricking me that you love me? Not cool. If you want to make me believe you, you shouldn't have told me you loved me while you bullied me. Because then your love just repulses me." I walk away and go to homeroom for the last time.

June

I weigh 125 pounds now. My mom told me she wants me to stop there and that it doesn't count as quitting. She says I look nice like this. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I'm having a party. If it doesn't work out well, I'm going to have a smaller party with my mom and a few friends. Friends means people that aren't mean to me. 

I don't actually know how many people will show up, but I invited everyone in my grade, plus a few juniors. I'm really nervous. My mom bought me a stunning red dress that hugs my curves and accentuates my boobs and butt. I'm wearing black Toms to casualize it. She's also letting me get my hair done fancy. I told her she might want to get out of the house for the night and stay at a hotel or something because there's no way she'd be getting any sleep. 

I did end up going out with John, but only that one time to the movies. We were set up for a second date, but I saw him kissing Jette - or Jette kissing him - as soon as I got there. I didn't care that much, and I let him explain, but I didn't have very much fun that night to be upset about it.

Jace and his mom come over sometimes, and it's pretty awkward between us. We never talked about him being in love with me again. We're kind of friends now, I guess. I never would have thought I'd be friends with Jace, but then again, he's kind of the only friend I had, in a weird, twisted way. He paid attention to me, and although he hurt me countless times, I can forgive him now because that part of my life is over, and so is the girl I used to be. 

My phone rings, abruptly bringing me out of the last month and a half. 

"Hello?" I ask.

"Hey Delaney, it's Macey!" her pleasant voice chirps.

"Hey Macey, what's up?" 

"Want to go to the pool with me?"

"Yeah! Sure, what time?" 

"Now! I'll come pick you up."

I hang up the phone and throw my new green bikini on. I love how I look in a swimsuit. I look in the mirror all the time. I used to hate it, to fear it, but now I can't get enough of my hard-earned body. I brush my long red hair into a ponytail and wipe off my makeup, replacing it with a touch of waterproof. 

The doorbell rings and I kiss my mom goodbye and rush out to meet Macey. 

"Hey girl! Lookin' good!" she compliments me.

"Thanks! You too!" Her blonde hair is piled in a bun on top of her head, and she has on neon blue sunglasses. I pull my aviators over my eyes and get in her car. 

We pull up to the pool and show our passes. The life guards check us out as we strip off our tank tops and shorts, revealing my bikini and Macey's red-on-top-cheetah-print-on-bottom one. I grin at this attention. I've never been looked at like this before, and I love it. I slide into the pool and cool down before going to tan. I'm not a normal ginger; I can tan. It was a genetic mutation my grandmother had. I lay on my stomach facing Macey and we talk for a while before I flip to the other side, where I see a familiar face. Of course, it's Jace.

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feedback/fave/follow okokok I have time for one maybe two more chapters and I know this goes against everything witty writers believe in posting 5 chapters a day, but it's make up for the last 17 days I've been gone, and for the week I'll be gone  this Saturday okay thanks for reading it means so much :')