This is so me:

 -you check your phone, even if you know no one texted you.

 -you will go slightly out of your way to step on a crunchy leaf.

 -you always hear your name when it's not being called.

 you hate hearing your voice in recordings.

 -you use the word "thingy" when you can't remember what something is called.

 -you say the entire alphabet because you can't remember what letter comes next.

 -you and your best friend can say one word, and crack up.

 -you hate it when one string on your hoodie is longer than the other.

 -you hate it when people think you like someone when you clearly don't.

 -you hate it when your favorite song comes on, as you pull into the driveway.

 -you feel like if you turn on the lights, you will be safe from anything.

 -you push those little buttons on the lids of fast-food drinks.

 -you laugh until people get hurt, then stop when you realize it's serious.

 -you hate it when parents get serious about something funny you tell them.