I just don't even know what to do with myself anymore.
Everyones saying it's going to be fine.
But it won't.
Oh it's gonna get better?
Oh that explains why everythings getting worse.
So my mom potentially dying in about 5 years or less is gonna get better?
Oh yeah I see..
not. 
Sorry if I give you attitude though.
I'm going through a tough time.
I really just don't even know anymore.
I may have a smile on my face most of the time, 
But I ALWAYS am sad/mad/depressed about something in the back of my mind.
Okay I'm done venting.