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Funny Instruction Labels These are actual instruction labels on
consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this..)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
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Funny Instruction Labels These are actual instruction labels

394 faves · 29 comments · Feb 21, 2009 2:52pm

omgshutup

by

omgshutup


tags

funny

cslovinlife445 · 1 decade ago
MLIA :)
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xoSarahLoveexo · 1 decade ago
this is hilarious!
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evrythinguwanted · 1 decade ago
WOAH! U GOT
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JonasSister221 · 1 decade ago
ohh emm gee this was made on my birthday!
btw i love thisss soooo much!!!!
you are amazinggg!!!!
**mrs joe jonas
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aerogirl4621 · 1 decade ago
hilariously funny!!!!!
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rockerchic1717 · 1 decade ago
lol!!! love this!!! laughed so hard i cried!!!
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PoLkAdOt · 1 decade ago
that is sooo funny i like the chainsaw 1
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TaliaMarie · 1 decade ago
i lovee thee knifee onee andd thee lights:)
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britsey01 · 1 decade ago
LMAO. my favorite was the korian knife thing.
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jennycakes · 1 decade ago
ROFL.
so good.(:


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JonasSister221 · 1 decade ago
omg i love this!!!!
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TeamEdward123 · 1 decade ago
have u seen the toilet seat covers they have in public restrooms that say "for your protection" on them?
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xoxROLOWxox · 1 decade ago
hahahahah. (:
this is funny.
i made me laugh.
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qquuootteessbbyymmee · 1 decade ago
this is really funny xD
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dylblock28 · 1 decade ago
i'm always looking for more of these there HILARZZ
also could someone explain wats up with the new witty look?
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soccerchick10 · 1 decade ago
hahaha. soo funny! luv these!

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cpagirl · 1 decade ago
I've read these before, but they were a bit different. One of them was "On the bottem of a premade pie: Do not turn upside down... well it's a little late for that one..." hahaha I love that one :] Yours are really funny,too, though.

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laurenxswimmer · 1 decade ago
haha. i loved these make more please!


but just to ruin one for you, if a peanut factory does not put "contains peanuts" they can get sued. isn't that stupid?! no duh it has peanuts in it.
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xopink03xo · 1 decade ago
hahahah sooooo funny[:
you need to make more!
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xxpaperheart · 1 decade ago
i almost like, peed my pants. xD
ahahahaha
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