10 things you want to say to 10 people

mom- I'm sorry i'm not the "normal child" anymore. I'm sorry im not good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough. i"m sorry i'm me, okay?
Emily- you're the only one who see's through my smile every day, right away.. and you're just there for me. i trust you. i love you. you're beautiful&amazing. c:
Diana- You're probably reading this right now. SO, on that note, how about you come talk to me when you know what you want. when you won't go back on your word. when you figure crap out, with everything. when you decide to not feed me bs..god, seriously, just tell me. now YOU'RE the one messing with ME. i don't like it .
Critelli- Bro, if you try to go after me one more freaking time now that you and your girlfriend broke up, i'll hit you. very hard. kay?
Amber- i'm getting over you .
Avery- i thought you changed. and it's evidentally clear you haven't.
Shelby- you treat diana like shiiiit, and make her feel bad. you're bratty.  you hurt her too much, and that makes ME mad. -__-
Saige- thankyou for being there for me when i really needed someone. it helped. somuch.
jackie- leave me alone omfg you're always biitching about something&you're annoying.
miranda- i'm sorry for being impatient to you.
9 things about you.

-I'm depressed
-I have an eating disorder and i'm about 77 pounds.
-I dont eat meat
-I'm schizophrenic.
-I've tried to kill myself so many times i lost count.
-I'm incapable of having a successful relationship .
-I don't leave people. for good atleast.
-I get played and used and taken advantage of way too much
-I hide how i feel.

8 ways to win my heart

- Keep your promises.
- Make me feel important.
-Actually care, and be there for me, instead of just saying it.
- Respect me and my decisions.
- Fight for me.
- Trust me, tell me everything. Be open, and don't be boring.
- Don't kiss me too much in public. I like hugs better.
- Accept me for who i am. And actually help me with my problems, because if i come to you, that's my way of reaching out for help.

7 things that cross my mind a lot

- my insecurites.
- my bestfriend.
- anxiety.
- my flaws
-memories.
- everything that's messed up in my life
- everyone who's ever hurt me, what my life would be like if they didn't. what things used to be.

6 things i regret

- Letting people get close enough to hurt me.
- Letting my aunt find out about my eating disorder
- Not going through with suicide
- Saying certian things during arguments, letting you give up.
- eating, not throwing up -__-
- caring.


5 things i love

- When people play with my hair
- Anime
- Feeling cared about. which never happens..
- singing.
- my cat

4 turn offs

- when people smell bad
-being rude, ignoring, interrupting me or walking into me.
- when people text me and say the exact same thing everytime. Like they repeat "whats up?" over and over and keep saying hi if i dont text back right away, like people that are boring to talk to. Or when like, someone says something to you, and then they go and say the exact same thing to someone else. it makes me feel, bad.
- when people are annoying, and do agressive things, and keep saying stuff for attention. it makes me not want to talk to you.

3 turn ons

- Hold me around my belly.
- cuddling.
- again, playing with my hair ;P

2 words that describe my life right now.

- Worthless
- stupid.

1 confession

-I hate myself, i'm giving up on me, life, school, friends, relationships, EVERYTHING. i give up, there's no point.