chapter 28:
The hardest thing is to see someone you love,
get wheeled out of a hospital room.
Covered in a white sheet, head to toe.
I wasn't crying.
I wanted to cry more than anything,
but I couldn't.
The tears wouldn't come out, not here, not now.
Emily and I stood side by side, at 5 in the morning,
watching with a firm grasp on each others hands.
I had never seen her cry so much,
even after seeing her completely break down after 
watching the notebook.
My mom raced back to that day,
when Emily and Noah were going out for about a year then.
I had my friends over, and we were watching the notebook,
and she joined, forcing Noah to watch too.
I remember the pout on his face, and when he would roll his eyes
whenever there was some corny kiss.
I looked up from the floor,
racing back into the present,
and watched my parents follow the doctor out of the room.
Emily turned to me once the hospital had fallen completely silent.
"You're strong, you know." She said.
I nodded, still not crying.
I wasn't strong, truthfully.
Inside, my head was pounding, my heart was racing,
and tears just swelled up into a massive lake in my eyes,
but I never let them leave.
Emily hugged me.
She leaned her head down on my shoulder and I let her cry there.
I patted her back like I've seen people do in movies.
My parents came back in, dreadful.
"We're going home." My dad mumbled. "And tomorrow morning mom
and I are going to the funeral home, where Noah is going now." He teared.
My mom was silent, and as white as a ghost.
My fathers hair was messy, and so were his eyes from crying.
I nodded, gathering my things.
I looked at my phone that was still off.
Adam's probably fine. I don't need to call him.
I stuck it into a pocket in my bag, where I forgot about it.
My mom walked over to the small night stand where my brothers 
clothes were still in a bag.
He never got to leave the hospital to wear them.
Inside was his favorite pair of sneakers,
and a tight black tshirt he always wore around Emily.
I watched my mom painfully pick up the bag, and place it
into her large pocket book where she had snacks saved for him.
She turned around.
"Emily, would you like to come to our house tonight?" She asked.
Emily looked up where she stood in the entrence.
"I don't want to bother you tonight, I'm sure you want to be alone." She sighed.
"It's fine. We'll bring you home in the morning on the way
to the funeral home." My dad tried to force a smile.
"Thank you." She said back meaningfully, but with no expression on her face.
My mom checked out of the hospital,
where all the nurses acted like they actually cared.
But I figured they had seen so many people pass away, it became a routine.
The whole car ride to the house was silent.
I listened to the sound of the tires against the roadways,
and the sound the pedals made when my dad's foot hit them.
We got back to a quiet house, with no lights on.
All I wanted to do was sleep.
When we got in, I immediately took off my shoes and started up the stairs.
"Goodnight." I said to everyone, who barely even looked up at me.
I ignored their answers, and went into my room.
I didn't even change, brush my teeth, or comb my messy hair.
I just laid in bed without going into the covers,
or fixing my pillow until I was comfortable.
I laid, staring at the ceiling.
And forced myself to sleep,
and hoped I'd wake up from this nightmare.