I cut
when the pains come back
when the pressure became too much
thats how I tried to deal with it
and now I can't stop.
I'm too far under.
It was Just scratches at first.
scratches with scissors
ends of notebook wire
my nails.
I broke skin for the first time yesterday.
and Today I bled for the first time.
I cant tell anyone.
I'm too far under.
This is a road I need to take alone.
Because I cant scream now,
I'm too far under.
No one can help me.
I'm too far under
Stuck in a pit of dark blue paint
trying to see through the tint,
but knowing there's no point.
I'm too far under.
I need to do this myself
but I know I cant
It's a losing battle.
If I get outside help,
I'll just fall back under again,
the process will repeat
and next time
help might not come soon enough.
but I cant do it alone
Cant fight the pressure or pain
I'll suffocate eventually
because I'm too far under.
and I cant even scream.