I need to get this out so maybe I can let it go




I hate this. I hate the feeling of being empty. But the place I don't feel it is with you. But you know how I feel and you don't return the feelings, and it KILLS me to be around you and know I'm insignificant to you. I've tried so hard for so long to let you go but deep down I relaly don't want to. You're what I've always wanted, what I may always want. But I need to move on, I know I have to. But i can't. I miss you. Twenty minutes after seeing you I miss you because I have so much fun with you, I'm myself.
I don't think like normal people,I know everyone is unique and sees things differently but mine is usually out of the realm that people can even understand and I feel like such an outsider half the time because I see all these things and people just look at me like I'm a freak.
I try not to put on a fake smile, i try to make it real but lately I've just wanted to put off what I feel so I don't have to deal with it. I can't even explain this I just feel empty. 
I'm starting to like a new guy and I know it's probably just pointless but honestly right now I don't care. He's distracting me. Given me somehting to smile about. I just feel empty, and the few places I feel that its better is with you, or at church, or with my best friends in the world Lea, Brittany, Mitchell, and David. I just want to get back the piece of me that's missing.
Pierce I want to get over you. But I know I probably won't for a long time. It tears me apart inside to think of not even being friends with you. I know we're still friends but the way you rejected me hurt. 
There are just some nights where you feel weak.
One of my friends told me I'm the storngest person she knows. I wish I could live up to that but lately all I feel is weak.