i guess this is growing up.
tear stained pillows, every night, staring naked at yourself in the mirror, waiting for a text that will never come.
wishing for impossible things, like narrower thighs, or prettier hair.
its a vicious cycle of being to scared to help someone else, and feeling abandoned by everyone when they are the same.
growing up is feeling self-conscious enough about yourself to break down crying in the school bathroom, & the horrible panicking that comes when you realize you forgot your eyeliner at home.
when your parents are screaming at you about your grades, and screaming because you came home drunk, and screaming at you because they hate your friends, and you just cant do anything right.
i dont think i'll even know if its just me that is passing time like this, so painfully.
or if i am just crying over something that everyone else can be brave about. |