Chapter 29.

All it's ever going to be.
 section 2 "The Years to come."


   a whole year and a half has gone by since that night; yet its been the only thing clear in my mind for a long time. I knew justin deserved a better life than me so i told him "No." it broke my heart as i saw all the color drain from his face and the disgusted look that replaced his anger. He told me he never wanted to see me again, and i agreed, if only he knew i meant myself, not him. My mother and i left canada that next weekend, without saying goodbye. shortly after we returned home my mother tried to get involved in my life like pattie had taught her too, but all i did was reject her attempts to be a family, and we both turned into nothing but empty shells of who we once were. My friends tried to contact me often after that first month, but soon i had sucessfully pushed away everyone in my life who gave a damn. 10 months later tabloids posted pictures of him, in Rehab for a suspected drug addiction; thats when my drinking began. And that just about sums up all thats happened in the past year and a half except for Caleb. i met caleb about a month ago in a bar that doesn't check Id's. Hes two years older than me, which makes him the ripe old age of 18, another thing my mother and i cant seem to agree upon.  Caleb's and i have been hanging out lately and he seems to be pretty chill, but sometimes im too drunk to care not to mention notice. i havent slept with him though, thats one thing i've made clear. i will never sleep with anyone again, after justin, it hurts too much to even think about going that far only to have your heart ripped out by your self in a foolish attempt to save the one you love... anyways i try not to think of that, as i already said, i just try to num it out, that and the rest of humanity...




ITS BEEN SO LONG! GOSH I HAVENT WRITTEN SINCE THE BEGINNING OF SUMMER!!! I'M SORRY!! I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.......... THINGS HAVE TAKEN A VERY DARK TURN......... EVEN THOUGH EVERY BODY HAS PROB FORGOTTEN ABOUT THIS STORY..... I'LL TRY TO REBUILD A FANBASE.......AND YEA, IT'S TALKING ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER, INCASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED..... <3 YOU ALL