Hidden Behind the Smile
Chapter 29; September 10th,2011
I woke up the next morning around 10:30, I went to get my nails done around 11:30, and then I went right to the first football game of the season. They were crushing the other team, so we left at half time. Albie was sitting behind me with his friends, and they went to go play football when we left. I saw this girl that he's friends with, Julianna. Julianna is who invited him somewhere else last night, and they walked under the bleachers and I saw her run toward them. That bothers me, but I can't tell him not to hang out with her. I'm sure that after the game they hung out, and I didn't really care, because I went to Anna's house with Avery, Stephanie, Hope, Lauren, Kayla, and Taylor. We got pizza and talked about everything, because we don't see a lot of eachother during school anymore. It was a fun day and night, I went home and decided to write for therapy, which is now slowing down because of school. I wrote a lot about Louis tonight, which made me cry a lot. I haven't cried as often as I used to though, so that's good. I haven't thought about cutting lately, either. I guess now I'm dealing with all of my feelings and I'm realizing that it's apart of life, which is helping me. I wrote the rest of the night, and I fell asleep with a pen in my hand and my notebook close to me. When I woke up, the last thing on my paper was, "I took the knife to my wrist... and the pain was incredible. I was scared of myself..."
That is so true, after I cut myself, I was so scared of myself, but it took away so much pain from Louis, so I continued. No matter who told me to stop, I wouldn't, until Louis came to me in my dream. 







*sorry, couldn't really think of much more... i'll write soon when i have more ideas...*