Funny MLIA Quotes:

Today my phone got a scratch on it. How? I bit it and tried to text on the sandwich in my other hand. MLIA.

Today, I was watching What Not to Wear. We had on the same shirt. MLIA.

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box. MLIA.

Today at school we were being too rowdy so my teacher shouted, "FREEZE!" I proceeded to yell, " Everybody clap your hands." Everyone just stared at me. It was awkward. MLIA.

Today I went to the movies with my boyfriend for a date. He showed up with what looked like a black scribble on his cheek. He told me it was a secret message. I bent in to read it, and got as far as "if you can read this, you are about to be-" before he swooped in and kissed me. It was my first kiss. MLIA.

Today, I met a new guy. He held out his hand and said: "Hi, I'm Christian." I then proceeded with: "Hi, I'm...Catholic?" Guess who's an idiot? MLIA.

Today I opened a pack of Skitles to find the entire pack was green and yellow. I did not taste the rainbow. I tasted the solid form of Sprite. MLIA.

Today, I ran into my therapist at the grocery store. He was in a dress. MLIA.

Today, I learned that even though it’s been 13 years since pre-school, my pre-school teacher still remembers me. Why? Because in her 20+ years of teaching, I was the only child who realized that when you are sent to the time out chair and told to stay seated in it, that doesn’t mean that the chair had to stay in one place. I would just move the chair wherever I wanted to play as long as my butt was still on it. I’m glad that even as a four year old, I could find loopholes. MLIA.

Yesterday, I told my mom that she was my favorite mom in our entire house. My eight-year-old sister looked confused and said, "she's the only mom in our house," then paused, looked at me in horror and said, "unless you're pregnant..." MLIA.

I found out that when I was 3 I had three imaginary friends: Bucket, Trucket, and Fukket. MLIA.

I'm a freshman in high school, and my brother is the geometry teacher. He's my half brother, so there's kind of an age difference and we have different last names. At the beginning of the year I decided not to tell anyone we're related so I could have some fun with it later on. Last night he took me out for ice cream. Today in class I said to him, "Thanks for last night, I had so much fun. It was huuge, but it tasted soo good." Then I kissed him on the cheek. He didn't catch on, and replied, "Anytime. I enjoyed myself as well. Let's do it again soon." My classmates just stared at me in awe for the rest of the period. It was awesome. MLIA.

Today, instead of telling me how much he liked me, my boyfriend said that if I was a boy he would go gay for me. MLIA.

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