Quotes added on Monday, April 4 2005

chickenwinggirl
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 8:53am UTC

what goes in hard and comes out sticky and wet?
Bubble gum, you sicko!

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chickenwinggirl
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 8:54am UTC

why are fire engines red?
you'd be red too if somebody picked up your hose and dragged it across the street!

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chickenwinggirl
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 9:03am UTC

Rejected Hallmark Cards
1)so your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.
Look at the bright side,
She's a really good lay!
2)My tire was thumping,
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire,
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
3)You had a bladder removed,
and you're on the mends.
Here's a bouquet of flowers
and a box of Depends!
4)You've announced that you're gay,
Won't that be a laugh,
When they find out you're one
Of the Joint Chiefs of Staff!
5)Happy Vasectomy!
Hope you feel zippy!
'Cause when I had mine
I got real snippy!
6)Heard your wife left you.
How upset you must be,
But don't fret about it,
She moved in with me!
7)You totaled your car
And can't remember why.
Could it have been
that cast of Bud Dry?

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chickenwinggirl
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 9:10am UTC

Parrot-Prostitutes
A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, "Hi, we're prostitues. Wanna have some fun?"
"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop say that that terrible phrase, and you female parrots will learn to praise and worship."
The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said,"Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?"
One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "put those beads away,our prayers have been answered!"

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chickenwinggirl
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 9:16am UTC

Psychiatric Hotline
We've all had the annoying experience of calling up a hotline and waitiing on the phonefor eons to hear all the choices the lucky touch-tone dialers receive. Well, thnk how frustrating that would be if you were calling the.... PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE
The telephone rings and an answering machine answers..."Welcome to the psychiatric hotline." If you are obsessive conpulsive, please press one repeatedly.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid/delusional, we know who you are, what you want, just stay on the line so that we can trace your call.
If you are a schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press....no one will answer any way.

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volleybabii7
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 12:45pm UTC

a wise rapper once sed laidesz r pimpsz too so go on brush your shouldersz*
eDiTsZz~~--> purpLe3e & lime3e gre3en comic sans ms size3e 8
x0Oo0Oo* taRa * oO0oO0x

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CollegeKiddo86
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 1:41pm UTC

I lost my number can I have urs?

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CollegeKiddo86
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 1:44pm UTC

I walk a lonely road
The only one I that have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But its home to me and I walk alone
Green Day-Boulevard of Broken Dreams

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XxBaBiiGrLxX710
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:20pm UTC

it's not your voice
it's not your smile
it's just the little things you do
that make life worthwhile

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XxBaBiiGrLxX710
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:20pm UTC

i wanna know when its gonna be my turn to fall in love, my turn to have someone to turn to when everything is going wrong.....

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XxBaBiiGrLxX710
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:23pm UTC

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where
She's loved
Concrete angel

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XxBaBiiGrLxX710
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:23pm UTC

Here I am, once again
I�m torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry

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XxBaBiiGrLxX710
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:24pm UTC

I'm falling so deep for you crazy over for you
I`m calling, calling out to you what am I going to do?
It's true and no fronting
Its you and no other i can no longer go on without you
I'll just break down : (

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XxBaBiiGrLxX710
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:26pm UTC

life is like a highway,sometimes the traffic is busy and sometimes there are obstacles but at the end you finally reach you destination and find out it was all worthwhile..
just thought of that..kinda cool
use
not taking credit

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XxBaBiiGrLxX710
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:36pm UTC

one part of me wants you back and the other wants you to leave me alone....

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_x3_Addy
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:37pm UTC

.- Beautiful Disaster____` '(�`�._/`--_
� its liike takki`n me t0 the t0p 0f the` �
� hiighest m0untaii`n, sh0wiing me .. �
� the w0rld..'nd then telling me -`this �
'- - - �iis what y0u cant have � - - -'

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_x3_Addy
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:39pm UTC

the prettiest people do the ugliest things.
[�]

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_x3_Addy
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:39pm UTC

Love isn't about finding
the p e r f e c t person
but learning to see an
i m p e r f e c t person
- - - p e r f e c t l y - - -

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_x3_Addy
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:40pm UTC

"`in my eyes that three minute dance could last a lifetime`"

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_x3_Addy
posted a quote
April 4, 2005 2:41pm UTC

BumpSz `nd bruises got nothing on a
b . r. o . k . e . n heaRt </3

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Witty Profiles

Quotes added on Monday, April 4 2005