i wish i was a good writer.
i just want to be able to express what i feel in words, and share it with you wonderful wittians...
..but i know no one will care, just like no one does in the real world either.
the world where it's not okay that i wear dark clothing, and don't like to smile.
the world where i can't sleep with sirens, or pierce the veil.
the world where i have to be fake, and rely on the people i dislike the most to try and accept me.
the world where my own sadness means nothing to anyone, and the most important people to me don't care about me.
the world where i have to hide.
the world where pretending is like a habit to me, it comes naturally, and i don't know how to break its wall so that i can finally get away from it all.
the world where my existence doesn't matter, and never will.
the world where i'm just in the way, but not really because i'm invisible.
so suck it up. don't cry. don't be a baby.
don't complain. don't be weak.
don't be yourself.
i need to remind myself to
I have screwed up 60% of my teenage life . [ ] Kissed someone before dating [ ] Gotten a phone taken away at school [x] Gotten caught chewing gum [x] Gotten caught cheating on a test Total so far: 2 [ ] Arrived late to class more than 5 times [x] Didn't do homework over 5 times [ ] Turned at least 2 projects in late [x] Missed school just because you felt like it [ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class Total so far: 4 [ ] Got your mom, dad, sibiling, etc to get you out of school [x] Text people during class [x] Passed notes [x] Threw stuff across the room [x] Laughed at the teacher Total so far: 8 [x] Took pictures during school hours [x] Called someone during school hours [x] Listened to iPod, CD, etc during school hours Total so far: 11 [ ] Threw something at the teacher [ ] Went outside the classroom without permission [x] Broke the dress code [x] Failed a class [x] Ate food during class Total so far: 14 [ ] Been called the worst student [ ] Punished on a school trip because you behaved badly [x] Didn't take your stuff to school [ ] Given a teacher the finger when they weren't looking Total so far: 15 [x] Faked your parents signature [x] Slept in class [x] Cursed at a teacher behind their back [x] Copied homework [ ] Got in trouble with the principal/vice principal/dean [x] Thrown food in the lunch room Total so far: 20
I'm the girl who prefers one rose instead of a dozen. I'm the girl who would rather stay in on a Friday night than go to a wild party with random strangers. I'm the girl who wouldn't make you wait on her hand and foot, but would do anything to make you happy. I'm the girl who would enjoy having a movie night rather than going to some fancy restaurant. I'm the girl who would rather stay up all night sharing secrets than going out and getting drunk. I'm the girl who won't make you hold her bags, but would rather hold your hand instead. I'm the girl who will love you more than anyone can possibly dream of. I'm the girl who would give the world to see you SMILE.