xForeverxYoursx · 1 decade ago on quote 3316249
The back of my neck :o
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xForeverxYoursx · 1 decade ago on quote 3195409
I didn't bother to read it because you wrote "lifes" instead of "lives.". Did you reread what you had written?
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xForeverxYoursx · 1 decade ago on quote 3195867
I think you've got a really great idea going and a good plotline. However, your punctuation makes the story a little hard to read. You should start a new paragraph every time a new person talks.
Also, the plotline seems a little rushed. I liked how in the first chapter you started with a hook, which was her finding out she had to move away, but it seems like everything is happening way too fast. Maybe add more detail to draw the story out?
I think your idea is great and I'm looking forward to chapter three! :)
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