Christina*
·
1 decade ago
I loved the hint hint! I understand sweetie, i know it's hard to keep going...its been pretty hard for me too with school starting and me finding out my relative has cancer....But, I'm still going to keep writing. It's just very hard...so i get that :) Take your time get inspired and hopefully start writing again reply
Christina*
·
1 decade ago
I'm def still interested...its just that i've been going through a tough time lately. So it's been very hard for me to focus reply
dapz95
·
1 decade ago
notify me! i like this :) reply
Christina*
·
1 decade ago
Your grammar has improved big time! So good job on that...but i don't really know about your spelling since I am a horrible speller my self...haha but good job i like it reply
Christina*
·
1 decade ago
OMG i love it! nnice job it's really good. I honeslty have nothing bad to say about it reply
Christina*
·
1 decade ago
Aww good ending! and remember, when a good story ends and even better one begins :) lets just hope i can finish mine too because i already have like 10 ideas of new stories in my head lol :P reply
sleepinginmemories*
·
1 decade ago
I really like it :] please don't stop reply
Christina*
·
1 decade ago
My advice is if you don't feel passionate about it then end it. if it still interests you then keep going reply
Christina*
·
1 decade ago
I like it. Except, when you are going to write something that is intense I suggest that you would smooth it out just a bit. The beginning of the chapter basically went Lyra's talking-she gets nervous-she can't say anything-she cries-she sleeps.) Next time slow it down, give us details. Maybe share some mysterious flashback. Also, give us some details on the reactions of the other characters because in this chapter we mostly get Lyra's emotions not theirs...you see what I mean? When we read stories we like to imagine them as movies, and it's kind of hard to imagine that as a movie when we only know what Lyra is doing. Other than that I strongly think you made the wrong choice by rushing into the other part so quick. It's like oh Lyra's talking about Drake and now she's eating breakfast with her family. It's too rushed. So take your time slow it down. I know it's hard to slow down because you get bored easily and you're so excited to write the rest that you kinda go over bored. My advice to improve
1: Try reading the story out loud while you are righting it.(This helps you see you're tone)
2. After you're finished writing; read it several times and don't publish until you are a 100% satisfied with it.
3. Add in some metaphors,similes,personifications.
Ex.) "I could nearly hear Drake's voice; he kept telling me to keep my mouth shut. His cold eyes reminded me of what happened. I shuddered and closed my eyes hoping to chase him away...) See something like that...lol :)
reply
tigersforever
·
1 decade ago
okay then thanks guys reply
xgabbyx
·
1 decade ago
you have negative because someone disliked one of you comments instead of like reply
br0kenwings
·
1 decade ago
see the little thumbs up/down things under my comment? Whenever someone rates your comment up, you gain a point, when someone rates it down you lose one reply
Butterbear
·
1 decade ago
You leave a comment, if someone likes it the gives it the thumbs up if they don't like it they give it the thumbs down nd the total shows up on your profile. reply
chachawawabubu · 9 years ago
Newsboys :)
reply
julie_urzua · 9 years ago
I love that song. :)
reply
Sassysammy2qt32 · 1 decade ago
you're
reply
Christina* · 1 decade ago
I loved the hint hint! I understand sweetie, i know it's hard to keep going...its been pretty hard for me too with school starting and me finding out my relative has cancer....But, I'm still going to keep writing. It's just very hard...so i get that :) Take your time get inspired and hopefully start writing again
reply
Christina* · 1 decade ago
I'm def still interested...its just that i've been going through a tough time lately. So it's been very hard for me to focus
reply
dapz95 · 1 decade ago
notify me! i like this :)
reply
Christina* · 1 decade ago
Pure awesomeness
reply
Christina* · 1 decade ago
Your grammar has improved big time! So good job on that...but i don't really know about your spelling since I am a horrible speller my self...haha but good job i like it
reply
Christina* · 1 decade ago
OMG i love it! nnice job it's really good. I honeslty have nothing bad to say about it
reply
I'm a Niall Girl* · 1 decade ago
So good
reply
sleepinginmemories* · 1 decade ago
Nice ending!
reply
Standupforwhatyoubelievein · 1 decade ago
Amazing story you are a great writer
reply
Christina* · 1 decade ago
Aww good ending! and remember, when a good story ends and even better one begins :) lets just hope i can finish mine too because i already have like 10 ideas of new stories in my head lol :P
reply
sleepinginmemories* · 1 decade ago
I really like it :] please don't stop
reply
Christina* · 1 decade ago
My advice is if you don't feel passionate about it then end it. if it still interests you then keep going
reply
Christina* · 1 decade ago
I like it. Except, when you are going to write something that is intense I suggest that you would smooth it out just a bit. The beginning of the chapter basically went Lyra's talking-she gets nervous-she can't say anything-she cries-she sleeps.) Next time slow it down, give us details. Maybe share some mysterious flashback. Also, give us some details on the reactions of the other characters because in this chapter we mostly get Lyra's emotions not theirs...you see what I mean? When we read stories we like to imagine them as movies, and it's kind of hard to imagine that as a movie when we only know what Lyra is doing. Other than that I strongly think you made the wrong choice by rushing into the other part so quick. It's like oh Lyra's talking about Drake and now she's eating breakfast with her family. It's too rushed. So take your time slow it down. I know it's hard to slow down because you get bored easily and you're so excited to write the rest that you kinda go over bored. My advice to improve
1: Try reading the story out loud while you are righting it.(This helps you see you're tone)
2. After you're finished writing; read it several times and don't publish until you are a 100% satisfied with it.
3. Add in some metaphors,similes,personifications.
Ex.) "I could nearly hear Drake's voice; he kept telling me to keep my mouth shut. His cold eyes reminded me of what happened. I shuddered and closed my eyes hoping to chase him away...) See something like that...lol :)
reply
tigersforever · 1 decade ago
okay then thanks guys
reply
xgabbyx · 1 decade ago
you have negative because someone disliked one of you comments instead of like
reply
br0kenwings · 1 decade ago
see the little thumbs up/down things under my comment? Whenever someone rates your comment up, you gain a point, when someone rates it down you lose one
reply
Butterbear · 1 decade ago
You leave a comment, if someone likes it the gives it the thumbs up if they don't like it they give it the thumbs down nd the total shows up on your profile.
reply