Holding on
Chapter nine.
"So, whats new in the world of Ashlee?" April asked, taking a small sip out of her chocolate frappe.
We sat on the large rocks that went down into the ocean, I looked out into the waves, I've always loved the ocean. I envy the creatures inside it, they're free to go and do whatever they please, unlike the waves, they have to follow where the current takes them and then just wash up on the shore.
"I got with Peter again. Twice in one week" I muttered, taking a sip out of my chocolate frappe also and then looking back at April.
Her eyes widened with shock, she spat out a bit of her drink and giggled at her silliness.
"You're joking?" She questioned, I could tell by the look on her face she knew I wasn't joking.
I nodded and took a big sip out my drink again, looking down at the rocks.
"We've talked about this" She laughed slightly. "He's with Emily. You don't want the 2009 incident to happen again.."
I looked at her with widened eyes, did she really just say that?
I shoke it off and took a deep breath, "It won't be the same, I know getting with Peter when he's with Emily isn't going to make anything better, and I know any normal person would be afraid of it after everything thats happened but I dunno, there's just something about him.." I trailed off, realized how stupid it all sounded. I pinched my arm and hoped she wouldn't mention his name.
"You said there was something about Jimmy too Ashlee, but there wasn't anything but torture" She replied quietly, I knew she must have felt uncomfortable saying this, but even I knew it was for the best.
"No it's just, like of course I thought there was something with Jimmy, he was the first actual guy I had ever really fallen for, plus I was thirteen. I never thought I would forget about anything that happened, I thought even when I came close to a guy I would freak out and remember everything and then like die, but with Peter all that goes, I feel safe having him around, I forget about Jimmy, I forget about everything. I know it's wrong doing things with him but, I love him. I know it might back fire like last time, but I don't care. I know what can happen, I know about the bad reputations, I know about the bullying, I know all about that but, I just can't help myself. I feel genuinely happy when I'm with him" I took a deep breath and sniffed. "I know what you're thinking, but please, just trust me on this one"
"It's so wrong Ashlee, I know how you feel though. You've gotta make some mistakes, just like last time. I'm just hoping Peters nothing like Jimmy, I'm just hoping things go your way" She whispered, with a slight smile. I bit my lip and took another sip of my frappe, looking at the two kids playing in the water with their parents watching them. I miss that.
"I saw Jimmy last weekend Ashlee" April muttered, "I didn't know how to tell you"
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