hes still here. but i feel like hes gone. hes getting help, i know. its just that i feel different now. theres something about him that for some reason i feel that when he returns, his once ear to ear innocent smile will have faded. i miss him. hes changing me and i dont know why. i havent seen him in about 2 weeks. thats all. i guess i care alot because this is the farthest any person i know's depression has gone. i guess it just shocked me and sort of snuck up out of no where. well.. he knew all along what was happening but he did such a good job of hiding it. to know that that can destroy someone inside. my finger has been lingering above the backspace this whole quote but no im posting to give recognition to the boy ive know for 5 years, gone to his house everyday, played made up games with him, had 2 day crushes on him, fought with, and grown up with. he may only be my best friends brother but to me hes the brother i never had. and to even think the same boy who made good out of every situation has turned into the boy sitting in a behavioral health hospital for people with eating disorders and suicidal thoughts in a matter of hours scares me. its hard to see how it can happen to anyone and to see that this might have been going on for months or years and he hid behind a smile thats coming undone and hes exhausted. i pray for him. i pray for everyone to get help before its too late. i send him my prayers and thoughts and love and i hope that he realizes hes not alone. i want him to be here again. but i feel like hes gone.
starryeyesxo