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siamee07

Status: ~*Keep Running*~

Member Since: 19 Aug 2012 05:35pm

Last Seen: 3 Oct 2016 02:47am

Birthday: August 31

Location: Arlington, TX

Gender: F

user id: 326061

28 Quotes
433 Favorites
29 Following
25 Followers
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Hi!
My real name is Heaven
   Im 18
   Im  dating the love of my life<3
   Im in College!!! :)
   I <3 MUSIC

I drink
i would be smoking pot but sadley im on probation from hanging out with the wrong people

My past isnt perfect either
   I was molested when i was 9 (my step-brother)
   My mom has almost died twice due to massive bloodclots (first was 2.5 feet the other was 7-9 in)
   Ive been bullied since my first day of kindergarden (from teasing to gang jumps)
  
Wat else is wrong with me?
   Im bi-polar
   Anxiety/paranoia
   EDNOS/Anorexic
   self harm recovery
   OCD

I have 6 current piercings and one tattoo
   size 00 gages
   2 lobal on my right ear
   bellybutton
   an iindustrial on my left ear
   lip
   upper left arm i have a peace sign, heart and ying yang sign in black outline

Some of my fav bands (yes this is long...and in ABC order)
   Avenged Sevenfold
   Apocalyptica
   Black Sabbath
   Breaking Benjamin
   Bullet for my Valentine
   Combichrist
   Disturbed
   Falling in Reverse
   Greenday 
   Linkin park
   Metallica
   Motley crue
   Muse
   My Chemical Romance
   Papa Roach
   Queen
   Shinedown
   Three Days Grace
   Van Halen
   3 Doors Down
   30 Seconds to Mars

My major is Anthropology
My minor is Archaeology
  1. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    December 23, 2012 2:30pm UTC
    99 Confessions
    1. Last hug: last night
    2. Last phone call: mom
    3. Last text message: lolly
    4. Last song you heard: beast and the harlot by avenged sevenfold
    5. Last time you cried: like 5 mins ago?
    HAVE YOU EVER:
    6. Dated someone twice: yes
    7. Been cheated on: i hope not
    8. Kissed someone & regretted it: hell yes
    9. Lost someone special: yup :(
    10. Been depressed: right now
    11. Pulled all-nighter: always
    LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
    12. purple
    13: silver
    14: blood red
    THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
    15. Made a new friend: yup :)
    16. Fallen out of love: nope
    17. Laughed until you cried: not in a while
    18. Met someone who changed you: possibly
    19. Found out who your true friends were: sure
    20. Found out someone was talking about you: prolly the always are
    21. Kissed anyone: not refcently
    YOUR LIFE.
    22.How many people on your fol lowers list do you know in real life: i hope none
    23. How many kids do you want: im not sure
    24. Do you have any pets: 2 cats
    25. Do you want to change your name: already have
    26. What did you do for your last Birthday: got high
    27. What time did you wake up today: 11:30?
    28. What were you doing at midnight last night: smoking and wathing comedy
    29. Name something you cannot wait for: graduation
    30. Last time you saw your mother: 2 min ago
    31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: everything
    32. What are you listening to right now: avenged sevenfold
    33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:no?
    34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: my mom
    35. Most visited webpage: facebook and witty
    36. Whats your real name: heaven
    37. Nicknames: nope
    38. Relationship Status: heartbroken
    40. Male or female: female
    44. Last kiss?: the week after spring break
    45. Tall or short: short
    47. Do you have a crush on someone: for the last 6 years
    48. What do you like about yourself: not much
    49. Piercings: yup 5
    50. Tattoos: not yet
    51. Righty or lefty: righty
    FIRSTS:
    53. First piercing: besides my baby ear piercing it was 2 lobal and 2 cartilage on my right ear
    54. First best friend: andrea :)
    55.First sport you joined: swimming
    56. First vacation: vacation?
    RIGHT NOW:
    59. Eating: never
    60. Drinking: nope
    61. I'm about to: finish this
    62. Listening to: my ipod
    63. Waiting for: my roomie to wake up
    YOUR FUTURE:
    64. Want kids: adopted ones
    65. Want to Get married: if the government allows it
    66. Career: anthropolgist/archaeologist
    WHICH IS BETTER:
    67. Lips or eyes: eyes
    68. Hugs or kisses: hugs
    69. Shorter or taller: same height
    70. Older or Younger: older
    71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantic
    73. Sensitive or loud: both
    74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
    HAVE YOU EVER:
    76. Kissed a stranger: nope
    77. Stole something for someone: sadly
    78. Lost glasses/contacts: yup
    79. Hurt youself: ya....
    80. Broken someone's heart: i hope not
    82. Been arrested: yup
    83. Turned someone down: always
    84. Cried when someone died: who doesnt?
    85. fallen for a friend: hard
    DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
    86. Yourself: sometimes
    87. Miracles: ehh
    88. Love at first sight: yup
    89. Heaven: not the place
    90. Santa Clause: used to
    91. Kiss on the first date: possibly
    92. Angels: no
    ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
    94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: hell no
    95. Did you sing today: right now
    96. First person in your contacts: aaron eckart
    97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? 8.5 years years
    98. The moment you would choose:when my mom almost died
    99. Are you afraid of falling in love? too late for that

  2. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2012 9:52pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  3. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2012 7:52pm UTC
    10 favorites
    • Favorite Color: PURPLE
    • Favorite Food: SLUSHIES
    • Favorite Band:LINKIN PARK
    • Favorite Show:HOUSE
    • Favorite Sport:SWIMMING
    • Favorite Season:WINTER
    • Favorite Day of the Week:SATURDAY
    • Favorite Ice Cream Flavour:COOKIE DOUGH
    • Favorite Time of Day:DARK
    Favorite Holiday:SAMHAIN
    9 currents
    • Current Mood:ALL OF THEM
    • Current Taste:SWEET TEA
    • Current Clothes:PJS
    • Current computer:GATEWAY
    • Current Finger/Toenail Color:NONE
    • Current day:SUNDAY
    Current Surroundings:MY ROOM
    • Current Annoyance(s):MOM
    • Current Thought:PAIN
    8 Firsts
    • First Best Friend:ANDREA
    • First crush this school year:SAME FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS
    • First Screen Name: iluvbunbuns
    • First Pet: RABBIT NAMED FLOPPSY
    • First Piercing:EARS
    • First Thing You Did Today:FONE
    • First School:CHESTERBROOK ACADAMY
    7 Lasts
    • Last Food Consumption:TEA
    • Last Car Ride:FRIDAY
    • Last Text Message:UHH
    • Last Movie Seen:IDK
    • Last Item Bought:IDL
    • Last Played CD:
    • Last Website:WITTY
    6 Have You Evers
    • Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: YES
    • Have You Ever Broken the Law:YES
    • Have You Ever Been Arrested:YES
    • Have You Ever Been on TV:YES
    •Have Ever Walked Into A Sliding Glass door:YES
    4 Things
    • You're Wearing:PJS
    • You Did Last Night:WEIRD SIDE OF YOUTUBE
    • What Can You Hear Right Now:MY RADIO
    • You Can't Live Without:MUSIC

  4. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    December 16, 2012 7:31pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  5. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    December 15, 2012 12:34am UTC
    I just got home from one of the saddest moments of my high school career
    a memorial for my english teacher
    she died last night (thursday 12-13-12)
    from misdiagnosed advanced lung cancer
    we all thought it was Pneumonia
    R.I.P Mrs. Berry ;(

  6. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2012 8:32pm UTC
    People assume that only the super skinny girls have eating disorders
    well i am far from skinny (200+ lbs)
    And im noticing anorexia/bulimia patrerns/feelings
    i just ate a really small salad and a small bowl of spaghetti noodles
    and i hate my self because i ate too much
    thats all i ate today
    And ive been doing this on and off for almost a year
    but i still havent lost much weight (not even a full pants size)
    and i can feel it can inly get much worse

  7. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2012 2:52pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  8. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2012 1:44am UTC
    Just when i feel like im getting better i start to slip backwards again....will this struggle ever end?

  9. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    November 25, 2012 1:02am UTC
    i cant control
    this gnawing feeling inside
    to ease this pain
    and relive the tension
    I need someone
    who will understand
    I need someone
    i can trust
    I cant control
    this urge
    i need a better way

  10. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    October 4, 2012 12:14am UTC
    i cant stand politics......but for societies sake my beliefs are quite close to that of a liberal....and i cant stand 98% of republicans (past and presant)

  11. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2012 5:20pm UTC
    8 days i made it
    without doing what
    my friends keep telling me
    not to do
    8 days i made it
    through the pain
    through the torment
    through the heartbreak
    8 days i made it
    without dragging
    that steel blade
    across my wrist
    8 days i made it
    clean from my silent struggle

  12. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    September 19, 2012 11:09pm UTC
    im tired of fighting
    tired of being strong
    ive made it 7 days
    a new record
    i dont think
    i can take another day
    without the numbness
    to replace this pain

  13. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    September 17, 2012 9:59pm UTC
    click to see this quote

  14. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    September 17, 2012 9:05pm UTC
    my record to beat is 5 days now....i cant believe ive gone this long without a date with mr wiggles

  15. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    September 13, 2012 8:40pm UTC
    i had been getting better
    but this week
    im slipping backwards again
    im using more
    cutting deeper
    drinking again
    i dont know
    how to stop this
    never ending pain
    of loosing the most important person in my life

  16. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    September 8, 2012 7:35pm UTC
    Alone
    im not sure wats worse
    getting messed up alone
    or with a friend
    when im alone
    i get hurt
    and let it out
    upon my arm
    or the other
    where we just cant stop
    hitting that pipe
    bc we cant take life anymore
    which one is worse
    alone
    with my friend
    or even at all

  17. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    September 3, 2012 1:47am UTC
    if u pay attention to the lyrics of ur fav songs..ull be surprised at how mamy of them are talking about drugs, suicide, selfharm, ect i kno i am

  18. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    September 2, 2012 11:09pm UTC
    paranoia takes over
    the moment you have to show the world
    who you truely are inside
    that moment i had to take off my bracelets
    and show the world my scars
    my cuts
    my pain
    was the worst feeling ever
    it felt like everyone around me saw them
    that they knew
    but in reality
    all but 3 cared enouph to help hide them
    now im worried wat they will think of me
    now that they kno my secret
    that ive worked so hard to hide

  19. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    August 28, 2012 10:09pm UTC
    strength isnt about how much you can handle before you break, its about how much you can handle after you break

  20. siamee07 siamee07
    posted a quote
    August 27, 2012 10:54pm UTC
    with any bad day i get into my familiar pattern
    i find my blade
    grip it tightly as i drag its sharp edge across my skin
    feel the familiar pain as i dig deeper and deeper into my arm
    slip into a dream-like state as i lay there in thought
    as i realize the throbbing slashes across my arm
    i get up to run some cold water over it to stop the bleeding
    and crawl back into bed and drift off to sleep
    wondering if i will do the same tomorow

:)

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