You my think i'm:
under control.
happy.
carefree.
but you're dead wrong.
the eyes you see,
may seem shiny and bright
in this dark world;
put them under a light,
they contain a sea of tears.
they cry me to sleep at night.
wishing and waiting it'd be different.
but going through this self fight;
torturing myself, begging to be set free;
strangling my happiness so tight.
people don't expect the thoughts i think,
for me to only think of good and joy.
have no bad thoughts
but to think of my boy;
you're sadly mistaken.
sometimes i wish i were to disappear,
to not grow up living in misery,
maybe the end will be near.
i wait for someone to ask me
but the don't notice or hear.
they may think i don't have to worry,
i have parents who love me;
who don't best me or do me harm.
but i wishdid so i could be free.
i'm just silent to all.
everyday i wish myself away somehow,
or find something sharp to distract my pain.
but its no use, why the thoughts now?
i promised i wouldn't,
final act, i should take a bow.
i'm so insecure about myself,
nothing looks right with me.
everything has to be precise;
or its not my cup of tea.
i'm anything but secure.
rockso