Witty Profiles

ricky57

1. ricky57
   posted a quote
   January 25, 2009 9:25am UTC
   click to see this quote
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 11 points
2. ricky57
   posted a quote
   January 25, 2009 9:20am UTC
   Jeff Dunham: You know, they're putting a lot more National Guard on the border between the U.S. and Mexico. Does this concern you?
   José Jalapeño: No, señor.
   Jeff Dunham: Why not?
   Peanut: He's already here! You really are an idiot!
   Jeff Dunham: So, José, are you here on a temporary visa? Are you here on a work visa?
   Peanut: He's here on a stick!
   Jeff Dunham: You enjoy being in this country?
   José Jalapeño: Sometimes I'm afraid for my life.
   Jeff Dunham: Why?
   Peanut: Taco Bell!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
3. ricky57
   posted a quote
   January 3, 2009 10:47am UTC
   Buddy: Who the heck are you?
   Gimbel's Santa: What are you talkin' about? I'm Santa Claus.
   Buddy: No, you're not.
   Gimbel's Santa: Uh, why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
   Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
   Gimbel's Santa: Um, Happy Birthday of course. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. How old are you son?
   Kid with Santa: Four.
   Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
   Kid with Santa: Paul.
   Gimbel's Santa: Now what can I get you for Christmas?
   Buddy: Don't tell him what you want, he's a liar.
   Gimbel's Santa: Let the kid talk.
   Buddy: You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?
   Gimbel's Santa: Just cool it, Zippy.
   Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.
   Gimbel's Santa: Look, I'm not kiddin'.
   Buddy: You're a fake.
   Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?
   Buddy: Yes!
   Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead, huh? Ho, ho, just kidding.
   Buddy: You stink.
   Gimbel's Santa: I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
   Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don't smell like Santa.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points
4. ricky57
   posted a quote
   January 3, 2009 10:39am UTC
   Buddy: [out of breath from chasing Michael] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited 5 hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?...
   Michael: - Go away !
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
5. ricky57
   posted a quote
   January 2, 2009 9:41pm UTC
   Jeff Dunham: So what's your question? And be nice.
   Peanut: Okay. Ummm, you're a jalapeño.
   José Jalapeño: Si, Señor. On a stick.
   Peanut: Right. And you're a Mexican jalapeño.
   José Jalapeño: On a stick.
   Peanut: Right. Are you a legal Mexican jalapeño?
   [audience laughs, Jeff stares at him]
   Peanut: What? What did I say?
   Jeff Dunham: This is not the appropriate time or place to ask that!
   Peanut: Too late! HA HA HA HA! So José, are you legal? Are you legal? Are you legal? Are you legal? Are you legal? Lega-lega-lega-lega-lega... lega... lega... le... lmmm?
   [Jeff looks at him sternly]
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
6. ricky57
   posted a quote
   January 2, 2009 9:40pm UTC
   click to see this quote
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 13 points
7. ricky57
   posted a quote
   January 2, 2009 9:36pm UTC
   Buddy to the fake Santa: You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don't smell like Santa.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
8. ricky57
   posted a quote
   January 2, 2009 9:32pm UTC
   [on seeing a sign saying "World's Best Cup of Coffee"]
   Buddy: You did it! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee! Great job, everybody! It's great to be here.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
9. ricky57
   posted a quote
   December 30, 2008 9:19pm UTC
   Jeff Dunham: What are you doing?
   Peanut: [exaggerated Japanese accent] Oh, speaking Japanese!
   Jeff Dunham: You don't know Japanese.
   Peanut: Yeah, I do; Toyota.
   [audience laughs]
   Peanut: Oh, Godzilla!
   Jeff Dunham: That's not right.
   Peanut: Oh, you're right; it'd be...
   [opens mouth and nothing comes out until after it closes]
   Peanut: Godzilla!
   -jeff dunham
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
10. ricky57
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2008 9:16pm UTC
    If a boy tells ur his best friend
    it means he just dosent like u
    he loves you
    -ryan sheckler
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
11. ricky57
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2008 9:13pm UTC
    Tomarrow morning 10 am
    santas coming to town. SANTA! OH MY
    GOD! I NO HIM !
    -ELF THE MOVIE
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
12. ricky57
    posted a quote
    December 30, 2008 9:05pm UTC
    Never give up cuz u never know whats in store
    -drake bell
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles