I’m nowhere to be found.
Not literally of course, I’m sitting in the car with my family. But as for my soul, Raleigh is lost. I’m searching for Raleigh, wondering if she’ll ever return. Raleigh consisted of many things; and I unfortunately gave Raleigh up not too long ago. My exterior is the same. A bit thinner, more attractive. Nonetheless, my outer appearance is not lost. Raleigh is lost.
Am I happy? Yes, I’m happy. Am I happy with myself? No, I’m not. To be happy with yourself, you must first be you. And I’m not myself, myself is gone.
The real Raleigh wouldn’t think like this, wouldn’t think of herself as “lost”.
But that was when the real Raleigh was inside of me, me being her temple; her temple of freckles, unmanageable curly blonde hair, and eyes that couldn’t be classified into a specific color.
This may sound as though I’m some depressed teenager, thinking of killing herself.
Killing yourself, is the easy way out of things. And I’ve never cared for easy, I have no interest in killing myself. I wouldn’t really be killing myself though, just the temple that Raleigh has been living in for 15 years of life. But I need my exterior, in order to find and capture Raleigh.
Raleigh’s somewhere out there, waiting to be found. And I will find her one day, hopefully soon. If you find Raleigh before I do, tell her I miss her and to please come home. My tanned and sun spotted arms will welcome her, as my heart isn’t the only thing missing Raleigh.
Sorry for this, I'm in a confused state of mind.
raleighlouise