15 things to do in the mall:
At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes departments, occasionally screaming without warning.
Test mattresses in your pajamas.
Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a particular saw cuts through bone.
Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray *them* with your own bottle of perfume.
Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a contact lens.
'Toast" plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.
Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.
Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling "scratch one flattop!"
Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say "Domino's."
Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch yourself.
Change every tv in the electronics department to a station showing "Saved by the Bell". Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch channels on one of the sets.
Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet.
Ask the personnel at Peer 1 Imports whether they have "any giant crap made out of straw".
I got the idea from FallOutGirls 35 things to do in an elevator.
paramorelove