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ohx0itslovexo

1. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   October 22, 2011 2:47pm UTC
   I never thought that this day would come. The musky air of the gym,the laughing of the girls,the chalky hands,the unbearable pain that I somehow seemed to live through. Thirteen years in the making. It had become part of me,but I was still left with this decision. Is enough enough? Two bad knees,faulty wrists,aching ankles,teared up palms,bruised legs,and one pulled lower back. The decision should be obvious. It was time to throw in the towel. Thirteen years of injuries scarred my body and reminded me what my life has been consumed of since I was two years old. The captivating,yet painful sport of gymnastics. I longed for a social life and endless days of relaxing. I thought I knew what I wanted...to quit gymnastics.
   Decisions like these aren’t easy,people always asking...”do you do gymnastics still?” Having to answer no was heartbreaking. How could thirteen years of sweat,blood and tears end up like this? A washed-up gymnast with nothing to show for it. No level 8 regionals,no elite gymnastics,no olympics. Have these years been wasted? I was extremely capable of doing all of those things,but does there come a point when you settle for good enough and stop trying to be great? A collection of ribbons,medals,and trophies now sit in a box; no longer displayed throughout my room. They were just too painful to look at. They were too much of a reminder of who I used to be and what I used to do. But in my mind,they were a reminder of how I had failed. I failed my coaches,my parents,my family,my friends...myself.
   (don't read if you don't want. I just need to save this somewhere!)
   
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2. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   November 1, 2010 10:57pm UTC
   Dear 20 Confessions,
   My biggest mistake. Oh my damn,I swear i could go on and on. In a sentence, breaking up with him. You see i was going out with jourdon for six months then we got in a fight and i wasn't thinking and i broke up with him. Everyone thought we were gunna go back out like we always did and so did we but this time I screwed it up and went out with josh the next day. But throughout the relationship I still loved jourdon. So when I broke up with josh,me and jourdon acted like we were a couple. and everyone thought that we were. we just never made it official and the whole summer we were with each other all the time. then one day he just flipped and stopped talking to me. since then it's been a whole on off talking to each other thing and i can't take it anymore. i screwed things up and i hurt him sooo badly,I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that. he still wanted me and i still wanted him but i didn't fully go back to him. i was so stupid because now I'm starting to lose him. we're starting to talk again but i can't help but think what things would be like if everything played out differently. like he still wanted to go out even though we were going to different high schools. i swear I'm a horrible person. i hurt so many people without meaning to.
   
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3. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   October 26, 2010 10:29pm UTC
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4. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   October 24, 2010 9:23pm UTC
   Dear 20 Confessions,
   Who do I miss the most? I miss KatieAnna Groody. I met her at gymnastics when I was little. She was older by 8 years,I looked up to her. Well one night at practice my mom was driving me home and she said to me, "Megan,I have to tell you something. KatieAnna died in a car accident Friday Night." I remember bawling my eyes out and screaming like crazy. Screaming things like "Why did she have to die? " "Why did God take Katie away from me?" "Why didn't her friend who was driving the car die instead of her?!" She was an optional level gymnast when I was in level 4. She was my role model and to this day I miss her like crazy. It's been five years as of September 16th and I still cry just thinking about her. She was 16 when she died,she died two days after her birthday. I remember going to her wake and trying to stay strong,all the gymnastics girls were there. She looked so fake,not herself. And to this day I have the picture engraved in my mind. I didn't cry until I got to her mother and father. I was wearing the shirts she made our whole gym a few weeks before the accident. Her mom said "Katie would've loved seeing you wear that shirt. I know she'd be proud of you." That's when I completely lost it. That summer they had a scholarship in her name,which paid for a full week at Camp Woodward. A gymnastics camp. I was the first girl to win that award and I'll always be proud of it. We had to write an essay about why we want to go to woodward,then her parents would read it. I was nine when i wrote it,and I won. Every day I think about Katie and I miss her so freaking much it's unbelievable. She was a huge inspiration to me and thanks to her I've been doing gymnastics for almost 13 years. She keeps me going. I am so glad I got to meet her. I could go on and on about what an amazing person she was but I think I'll leave it at this. (:
   
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5. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   October 23, 2010 1:38pm UTC
   Dear 20 Confessions,
   My biggest fear is not ever being good enough. My whole life has been based on perfection and I'm tired of it. But I'm afraid that no one will ever love me because I'm not good enough. I don't feel like I'm good enough for my dad either. The other night I overheard him telling my mom that he's going to stop talking to me and that my grades don't matter to him anymore and that he just doesn't care anymore. I was crying when I heard that. How could he be so cruel to his own daughter? I never feel like I'm thin enough ever more...my dad would call me fat all the time and since then I've never felt pretty. I'm afraid that I'll never be good enough for a guy. Am I too clingy? Am I not pretty enough? Do I deserve him? Will I mess everything up? Ughh I hate this,I don't think I'll ever feel good enough for anyone. I can't always meet my expectations let alone other people's.
   
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6. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   October 23, 2010 1:28pm UTC
   20 Confessions in 20 Days
   1- Your Biggest Fear
   2- Who you miss the most
   3- Your religion
   4- your biggest mistake
   5- a love
   6- who hurt you the most
   7- your worst habbit
   8- your current relationship status
   9- who you like
   10- why you like them ^
   11- where everything went wrong
   12- your dreams
   13- happiest moment of your life
   14- your favorite person
   15- why you last cried
   16- why you were last in the hospital
   17- who you last kissed
   18- Your best friend
   19- How you could change your past
   20- Why are you writing this?
   Guidelines: Everything you must write has to be the length of a paragraph. Address your letters to "Dear 20 Confessions" The date must be written on everyone. At the end of the 20 days, You can do whatever you want with these confessions, but the most popular thing to do with them is to burn the notebook, as if the confessions are no longer inside.
   
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7. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   October 22, 2010 3:26pm UTC
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8. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   October 22, 2010 3:19pm UTC
   Everyone says that love hurts,
   but that's not true.
   Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts.
   Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses
   these with love. but in reality
   LOVE
   is the only thing in this world
   that covers up all the pain,
   and makes us feel
   wonderful again
   **old quote
   
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9. ohx0itslovexo
   posted a quote
   October 22, 2010 3:12pm UTC
   Day Five: 6 things I wish I've never done.
   -of course there's a lot of thing i wish I've never done
   but right now i don't really want to or need to focus on
   the bad things. because in the end...it all made me stronger(:
   
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10. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 22, 2010 3:07pm UTC
    Day Four: 7 things that cross my mind a lot.
    -what happens when i die
    -will i ever be good enough?
    -why is my dad so mean to me?
    -will i make an impact on someone's life?
    -losing the people in my life that mean the most to me
    -will i ever be truly happy?
    -him <3
    
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11. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 22, 2010 2:57pm UTC
    Day Three: 8 ways to win my heart.
    -hold my hand wherever,whenever(:
    -hug me tightt <3
    -talk things out with me,do not start fights
    over something little...
    -get along with my family/friends
    -be able to talk to me in person; hold a conversation with me!
    -come to a gymnastics meet or two(:
    -make me laughh
    -and all that cheesy love stuff you see in movies?
    i secretly love it <3
    
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12. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 21, 2010 9:33pm UTC
    You're Beautiful(:
    >> s t a y st r o n g .
    
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13. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2010 8:32pm UTC
    and i hate the fact that
    i know he gets my texts;
    but he doesn't bother to reply.♥
    
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14. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2010 1:17pm UTC
    Say Hello to Goodbye...
    cause it's gone forever. no more try,you and I,
    not now not ever. & i'll get by without you.
    I'm not going back again. I'm not going to lie
    to you. cause that was there and only then. ♥
    
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15. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2010 1:11pm UTC
    I WiSH I HAD THE GUTS TO WALK AWAY ♥ ♥ ♥
    but i can't...because i know
    you wouldn't come after me.
    and that's what hurts the most.
    
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16. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2010 1:04pm UTC
    Love; if you have it,you don't need
    anything else. if you don't have it,it doesn't
    matter what else you have. ♥
    
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17. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2010 12:56pm UTC
    I need to stop doing this to myself. but when you just walk right out of my life,
    it's hard not to pay any attention to it...
    i just can't do it. ♥
    
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18. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2010 12:43pm UTC
    Do you not understand how much I care about you?
    I would give you everything just so we could be
    together. you mean the world to me & nothing
    can ever change that. i'll always get those butterflies
    when i see you and i'll always think to myself...
    >> "what if?" ♥ ♥ ♥
    What could of happened? Should have
    happened? I just want you completely back in my
    life again. i love you. when will you figure it all out?
    ♥
    -credit to phenomenal for the format!
    -credit to best friend for quote!
    
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19. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2010 12:28pm UTC
    It's like I have one foot in one relationship,
    and one foot in another.
    i want to forget about you,and i can't.
    and i want to move on but you're making it impossible. everyone knows that i'd run back to you
    in a (( h e a r t b e a t ))
    format credit to phenomenal
    
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20. ohx0itslovexo
    posted a quote
    September 30, 2010 9:17pm UTC
    Day Two; Nine Things About Myself
    1. I have been doing gymnastics since I was two and I wouldn't give it up for anything in the world(:
    2. I have been cheering since the 6th grade,and right now I am the only freshman on my high school varsity team!!
    3. I love to write. Stories are my specialty but I can write songs and poems too ♥
    4. I have been kissed in the rain beforee!!! ♥
    5. I have green eyes,I'm a natural blonde but I have the underneath dyed brown/black,I'm maddd short..like I'm 5'1 hahaa
    6. i'm REALLY shy around people i just met or don't know,so if they make me feel comfortable i'll probably break outta my shell
    7. I trust people wayy too easily,and hand out second chances like they're nothing when I know I shouldn't...
    8. I've been told MANY times that I look like Sam from iCarly hahaa
    9. I have cried myself to sleep before,many times actuallyy :/
    
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