myusername

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Member Since: 6 Dec 2008 07:25pm

Last Seen: 16 Aug 2011 05:49pm

user id: 59713

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hey every1.
yes im a guy so u dont have to comment and ask 50 times

JOCKER ALERT!:
http://www.wittyprofiles.com/author/allyoop

rate my quotes!

myusername
posted a quote
March 21, 2009 5:12pm UTC

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myusername
posted a quote
February 10, 2009 4:29pm UTC

Little Johny
and his bike
A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

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myusername
posted a quote
February 10, 2009 4:24pm UTC

Little Johnny
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, "Mom, what are those things on your chest!?" Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten.
Johnny didn't forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, "Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she'll float to heaven." Johnny thinks that's neat and asks no more questions.
A few weeks later, Johnnys' dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, "Daddy! Daddy! Mommy's dying!!" His father says, "Calm down son! Why do you think Mommy's dying?" "Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommys' balloons and she's screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

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myusername
posted a quote
January 23, 2009 9:47pm UTC

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myusername
posted a quote
January 20, 2009 9:24pm UTC

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myusername
posted a quote
January 3, 2009 9:33pm UTC

When i play
[rock][paper][scissors]
I always choose rock.
Because when someone claims
that they have beaten me with
their paper, i use my rock to
punch them in the face and say
"Oh, sorry. I thought your
paper would protect you."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

myusername
posted a quote
January 3, 2009 8:15pm UTC

The Idiot
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when an attractive female neighbor came out of her house and went straight to her mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut, and stormed back in her house.
A little later, she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angered, she again stormed back in her house.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out yet again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it, and then slammed it shut harder than ever
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked, "Is something wrong?"
"There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps giving me a message saying "You've Got Mail."

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points

myusername
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 11:13pm UTC

TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ELBOW!
( no cheating! you have to leave it the way you put it )
add on to the list!:
juaqcdobg - jacob

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myusername
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 11:07pm UTC

HEYY!!
hi everyone!
how are you?

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myusername
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 4:54pm UTC

HHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

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myusername
posted a quote
December 10, 2008 4:54pm UTC

HIIIIIIIIIIIIIi

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myusername
posted a quote
December 7, 2008 10:11am UTC

DO YOU THINK NORMAL?
Subject: Test for Dementia
Test for Dementia
Below are four (4) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK?
Let's find out just how clever you really are.
Ready? GO!!! (scroll down)
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
Answer: If you answered that you are first,
then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up in the next question.
To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question.
Second Question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
Answer:If you answered that you are second to last,
then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person?
You're not very good at this! Are you?
Third Question:
Very tricky math!
Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20.
Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100.
Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters:
1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono.
What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer:Nunu?
NO!Of course not.
Her name is Mary. Read the question again
Okay, now the bonus round:
There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?
He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.
FRUSTRATE THE SMART PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE!

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myusername
posted a quote
December 6, 2008 7:40pm UTC

hey hey hey!
ITS FAT ALBERT
:D

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myusername
posted a quote
December 6, 2008 7:35pm UTC

silly rabbit!
tricks are for kids!

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