Guess what? I finally talked to my "BFFL" about how I don't think that we're really BFFLs anymore. I gave her a note that was more than a page and a half long, stating all my problems, stuff that I did, stuff that I still do, things I think will happen. I told her basically everything! And you know what she did? NOTHING. I wasn't expecting a drastic change, but just a little one. When I talked to her, there were tears, but ironically, they were from ME. And even after all of this happened, I still don't think I got through to her. She still hardly talks to me, unless she needs help with her work or if there's no one better to talk to. I'm starting to think that she just takes advantage of me. I really don't think she cares anymore. All this happened like a week ago, and still, NOTHING AT ALL has changed. I don't think I can be her "BBFL" anymore... I don't even think I can be her friend. I don't really wanna be here anymore, and you know what? I don't really think I need to, either. Everything that I need to walk away from is too much a part of me, and it's so hard to let go. But when I do, everything might seem the same for everyone else, but it'll be so different for me. I wish that my so-called "BFFL" would actually be my friend. If she doesn't care about me, like she said she would, like she said she DOES, than I don't really care about me either. I hope that makes sense to her, cuz things are ALOT clearer to me now.