Dear -----,
You are my bestfriend. i trust you more than anyone, but you do not know everything about me. you might think you do but theres so much im not telling you, there is a reason im not though, its not becasue i secretly hate you or anything like that, no i love you. but you judge people. a lot, even by knowing there story you think everything must go how you think life should be. im not saying that its totally bad, but it is whats keeping me from telling you a lot. so ill say it on here. you know everything about my family and i can tell you everything about them. you know about my grandma's death ( RIP ill always love you) & you know how me and my parents arnt the best family ever. you know my brother and i never get a long & you know about my breakups that have caused me to be in tears a whole night. your always there for me with that stuff. but the thing you dont know is, my parents, they dont only cause me emotional pain, but to cover up that pain ive cut myself, i do not do it as an everyday thing and i dont do it a lot. you cant tell because you dont think im that kind of person, im always happy and cheery and when im quiet you know somethings up, but i can usually cover it up. i have stopped cutting, but ive only done it twice. i do regret it but at the moment i felt as if it was the only thing i could do to actually have physical pain to cry over, it covered up the fact that my insides were aching. i cant tell you this, because you dont like people who cut, and i know one day, not on purpose, but one day it will slip out of your mouth. and everyone will know about my past problem, no on will believe that i have stopped and everyone will be searching my arms for scars, i only have one scar on my arm, i told you it was a burn from making pizza, you believed me. and there is one on my leg, i told you my dog had wrapped me up in his leash and i got a cut from it, you also believed that. i am very afraid of telling you my problem from the past because i think it will ruin our friendship. i know i can tell you things but whenever i do i feel odd, and thats because your life is so perfect. your family loves you, you guys get along great, i love being there to see how me and my mom & brother could be. & you and your brother, gosh you guys are amazing together, its like your bestfriends. and you also have a perfect boyfriend who honeslty would do anything for you. you have the perfect life, hanging out with different people everyday, being the popular one. i honestly am very jealous of you. i wish my parents would get along with eachother & i wish i would get along with them. but i dont, i guess it was just made to be that way, and i wish me and my brother would stop fighting and actually have a conversation without him calling me a hoe or telling me ill be nothing but a stripper when im older. i really want to tell you all of this, but i cant, you would never understand what i go through because everytime i tell you something bad that has happened reecently with me and my family you always try to find a way out of talking about it and doing something different its not that you dont cheer me up, you do. but i sometimes just need to talk about it, to vent. i really need you to listen. or ill end up doing this everytime i need to say something to you. and i dont want to, i love you & you are my bestfriend, its just you dont act like one to me as much as i am one to you. i hope sometime i can tell you this, but not now.
ps. anyone who actually read this entire thing i love you so much i know this is really boring and has no point to you guys but i really needed to vent about this because she is the only person in my life i can tell some/most things to but i cant this. tell me what you think i should do if you want!
thanks so much <3
-xoxo-
livinmylife13