You honestly make me look so ridiclous. Coming back to you for a third time, because you promised it would be different. But that was just another lie you told. You hurt me again, are you proud of yourself?
Honestly, this summer I'm going to drop all the drama, drop the fake friends and backstabbers and just focus on the good stuff, rather than the bad. Who wants to spend their summer sobbing around? I want this summer to be a summer to remember.
You know, it really is amazing being happy with your life. For years, I would always pick the things that went wrong, like my parents getting a divorce, my grandma dying, or even loosing a close friend. It's also amazing, having one person completely steal your heart, when you wouldn't even expect it because he is too "cool" for you. I can honestly say I am in love with him, the way he makes me smile without even trying, and what really amazes me is that we can be doing absolutely nothing, but it's still the best time of my life. It's like, I want to say so much about him, but at times I'm at a loss for words. I just never knew it was possible for me to be this head over heals for somebody. No matter what, I never ever gave up on him. I fought for him. I didn't just push him aside and let him go completely. And now I have him. As a a boyfriend. And I couldn't ask for anything better. I really don't know what it is exactly, is it the way he gives me butterflies? The way every single kiss is like the first? Or the way we can be in complete silence, and I'll still be so happy? I really don't know, but whatever it is, it's amazing. I think it's love.
Looking back at my quotes from months ago, even years ago.. I always wrote a quote about how happy I was to even be talking to this one person. And it amazes me, how to this very day he is still the reason for the smile on my face.
We all have that one person we never really get over. No matter how many times he's hurt you, or broke your heart you still take him back, because you still have hope that he changed another time around. Everybody is confused why you're even taking him back. Sometimes, you're even confused why you're taking him back. But see, that's what love does to us. It confuses us. I guess it also just depends on what type of person you are, are you willing to take another chance, another shot at love? I know I am, I am ready. It's just so amazing how I feel about him. It's been a couple years, and I can promise you every kiss is like the first. Every glance and every touch gives me that intense spark rushing through my body. And when he tells me he is sorry for hurting me, I believe him. But that's what love does. It allows us to see the good in things.
People always ask me if I still love him, I mean of course I do. How can I not? Regardless of how he treated me, he made me feel like the most important girl in the world. I still feel the same way for him as I did the first day we went out. I just honestly don't know what it is. I don't know why I love him so damn much. But, two chances. I gave him two chances, and he broke me twice. As much as I want to go back to him, I know there is someone better out there for me. It's time to let go of the wrong one, and let the right one come along. I can't keep doing this to myself. I can't keep hoping he changed, and then get crushed all over again. It isn't fair.
Two whole months. Two months since you passed away grandma and i miss you more and more each day. I still believe that one day I'm going to come home from school, and run downstairs and you'll be there. But instead I go down to an empty, cold apartment. Your smell still takes up the apartment and each time I go down there every single memory replays in my head. Honestly, I'm learning now that no amount of tears will bring you back, and no matter how many times I pray you won't just reappear. I wish things were that easy, but unfortunately they aren't. I wish i had one more chance to see you. Because if I knew I was going to loose you I would have hugged you and never let go. I miss sitting on your lap and reading you stories, and I miss getting annoyed everytime you called the house. The annoying things you did made me love you even more. And I feel like we had a special connection grandma. A connection you had with nobody else. I could tell you anything and you would understand. I feel like a whole entire part of me is missing, and it just won't ever come back. Can you hear me? Are you watching over me? I miss you so much and this pain is destroying me. You'll be forever in my heart. I love you.
Sometimes you have to learn how to let go of somebody. No matter if you love them or not, if they hurt you. don't keep taking them back. Sometimes, you have to be strong and let go of them, because how are you going to find the right person if you keep on lingering on the wrong person?