Ways to Torture the Pizza Guy
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-Act like you know the order taker from somewhere. Say, "BedWetter’s Camp, right?"
-After ordering, say, "I wonder what THIS button does." Simulate a cutoff.
-Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
-Ask how many dolphins were killed to make that pizza.
-Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
-Ask if you they can put food coloring in the cheese.
-Ask to see a menu.
-Ask what their phone number is. Hang up, call them, and ask again.
-Be vague in your order.
-Call to complain about service. Later, call to say you were drunk and didn't mean it.
-Change your accent every three seconds.
-If (s)he says the word “pizza”, say, "Please don't mention that word."
-Doze off in the middle of the order, catch yourself, and say, "Where was I? Who are you?"
-Give them your address, exclaim, "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up
-Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell "OW!" when a bullet is fired.
-If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by your sweet words."
-If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say, "Okay, that'll be $10.99; please pull up to the first window."
-If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that.
-Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say, "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
-Move the mouthpiece farther and farther from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back into place and scream GOODBYE at the top of your lungs.
-Order a one-inch pizza.
-Order life insurance on your pizza.
-Pass the phone around to everyone in the house -- have each person change the order a little.
-Put the accent on the last syllable of "pepperoni." Use the long "i" sound.
-Put them on hold.
-Quote Chuck Norris or Mean Girls.
-Rent a pizza.
-Say it's your friend’s and you'd appreciate if the deliverer hid behind some furniture waiting for your friend to arrive so you can surprise him/her.
-Start the conversation with "My Call to Pizza Place, Take 1, and. . . action!"
-Start your order with "I'd like. . .". A little later, slap yourself and say, "No, I don't!"
-Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
-Tell them to double-check to make sure your pizza is, in fact, dead.
-Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
-Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
-When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza.
-When ordering a pizza, burst out in tears every minute
-When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say, "You just don't get it, do you?"
-When they repeat your order, say, "Again, with a little more OOMPH this time."
-When they say, "What would you like?"--say, "Huh? Oh, you mean now."
-When you'ge given the price, say, "Ooooooo, that sounds complicated. I hate math."
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