Witty Profiles

harriet_kat

1. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 28, 2011 12:37am UTC
   A man in Chicago calls his son in New York the day before christmas and says " I'm sorry to ruin your christmas, but your mother and I are getting a divorce; fourty five years of misery is enough."
   "No, you cant, what are you talking about." the son screams. "Well we cant stand the sight of each other anymore and I dont want to talk about it. Call your sister in Atlanta and tell her." says the father. Frantic, the son rings the sister and tells her. The sister, very upset, rings the father and says "You cant do this, I'm ringing my brother and were coming up tomorrow to sort this out. Dont do anything till we get there" she hangs up. The husband turns around and says " Honey, the kids are defenately coming for christmas this year.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
2. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 28, 2011 12:28am UTC
   girl to girl: " awww your really pretty", "aww thanks, you too"
   guy to guy: " your handsom", "what the hell, are you gay"
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
3. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 28, 2011 12:26am UTC
   *3 am phone call*
   Are you awake?
   ...no, im skydiving.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
4. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 28, 2011 12:24am UTC
   Sorry, cant hang out, my uncle's cousin's sister in laws best friend's insurance agents's room mate's pet gold fish dies, :'(
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
5. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 28, 2011 12:07am UTC
   Everyday im shuf-f-fulling..
   except for friday, friday, gotta get down on friday
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
6. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 28, 2011 12:04am UTC
   If I were a boy,
   I think I could understand
   How it feels to love a girl
   I swear Id be a better man.
   Id listen to her
   cause I know how it hurts to loose
   the one you wanted
   cause he's taken you
   for granted
   and everything you had got destroyed
   -beyonce, If I were a boy
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
7. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 20, 2011 1:19am UTC
   Any one else
   love the speeches from breaking dawn.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
8. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 20, 2011 1:08am UTC
   Anyone else ever have one of those serious moments or an arguments with your friends and you have a full on speech prepared to make your point then you forget it so your standing there going 'well....well, grrrr' and ur your friend walkes off feeling like she one the argument
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
9. harriet_kat
   posted a quote
   November 20, 2011 12:41am UTC
   Is it just me or does anyone else have to say
   " its okay, im wearing bike shorts"
   like a hundred times a day
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
10. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2011 1:45am UTC
    10 facts i know about you
    1. you are reading this. 2.you cant say the letter 'm' with out your lips. 3. you just tried it.4.You just realised im right. 6. you didnt realise that i skiped 5. 7. you just checked it. 8. You realised im right again. 9. you just finished reading these facts. 10. ur going to fav this. 11. you didnt realise that i went over 10 facts. thnx for reading
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
11. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2011 1:35am UTC
    Plz take this test
    Q1.How do you put an giraffe in the fridge
    A1. you open the door and put it in the fridge
    Q2. how do you put an elephant in the fridge. If you answered open the door and put it in the fridge... your wrong
    A2.Open the fridge. Take the giraffe out and put the elephant in the fridge.
    Q3. If there was an animal party (whoop whoop), what animal cant come
    A3. the elephant, its in the fridge
    Q4. You need to cross a lake that is infested with crocodiles, how do you get across
    A4. You just swim, the crocodiles are at the animal party ( whoop whoop)
    tests have proven the 75% of preschoolers got all these answers right. how many did you get right
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
12. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2011 1:28am UTC
    Yes, I am a female
    I pull doors that are clearly marked pull
    I laugh even harder when trying to explain why im laughing
    I walk in a room and forget why i went there
    I say its a long story even if its not just to try and get out of it
    Its just how we are...............and im proud
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
13. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 14, 2011 1:19am UTC
    To the wrorld you may be one person
    To one person you may be the world
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
14. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2011 2:52am UTC
    plz read, worth it!!!!
    A man dials home and a strange woman answers. The man says " who is this", the woman replies " i am the maid" the man replied, " we dont have a maid" and she said that she was hiored this morning by the lady of the house. The man says " well this is her husband, is she there?" the maid replied "She is upstairs in bed with a man i thought was her husband", the man replied " listen, would u like to make $50 000" the maid says "what would i have to do"
    The man says "i want you to get a gun from my desk and shoot the lady and the man she is with". the maid puts the phone down, heres some footsteps and hears a gun shot. The maid comes back and says "what do i do with the bodies" the man says " put them in the pool" the maidd replies " u dont have a pool" The man......O_O
    fav if your against woman abuse and then thought, what, does every man keep a gun n his draw
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
15. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2011 2:44am UTC
    I was inn the public toilets and i had just closed the door when i heard a voice from the next cubicle that said "hi, how are you", embarrased i said " im fine, thankyou", then the voice said, "so what are you doing?" i said, ".. just the same as you", then the voice said " can i come over, " rather annoyed i relied with "im quite busy at the moment". Then the voice said " listen im going to have to call you back, theres an idiot next door, answering all my questons.
    Fav if u have heard this and tought, why would the person have been on the phone while they were on the toilet anyway
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
16. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2011 2:28am UTC
    click to see this quote
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
17. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2011 2:19am UTC
    That awkward moment when your about to hug this really awesome person and you end up hitting a mirror
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
18. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2011 2:17am UTC
    Sitting down to watch a movie at the cinema then BOOM a human giraffe sits in front of you.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
19. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2011 2:15am UTC
    My reactions to seeing a spider
    1. scream and run away
    2.grab a shoe that isnt yours and throw it hystericaly at the spider
    3. Yell "In the name of all mighty God i comand thee to leave" then run away
    4.See the spider and freak out,
    look away, spiders gone....have a heart attack
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
20. harriet_kat
    posted a quote
    November 11, 2011 2:10am UTC
    Me: this movie isnt scary
    *based on a true movie*
    Me: o........o_o
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles