Witty Profiles

facebook_fails

1. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 23, 2013 3:17pm UTC
   Alex
   It's so hard being a single mom when you huave no kids and are a male teenager
   Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points
2. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 23, 2013 3:08pm UTC
   Alex
   I'm board
   Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
   Meghan I'm chalk, we should get together
   26 minutes ago · Like
   Alex no, BOARD! like i have nothing to do, not BORD like chalkbord. Learn to spell
   26 minutes ago · Like
   Meghan Oh god i hope you don't breed
   26 minutes ago · Like
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 78 points
3. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 23, 2013 3:01pm UTC
   Daphine Guys, we need to get off Lance Armstrong's back. Yes he did drugs but he was also the first man on the moon
   Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
   I DONT WANT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE
   *FACEPALM*
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 15 points
4. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 21, 2013 8:30pm UTC
   Sasha MENstration, MENopause, MENtalbreakdown.......notice how all of women's problems start with MEN
   Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
   Greg HERpes
   26 minutes ago · Like
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points
5. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 20, 2013 5:50pm UTC
   Maggie The sky is blue lol
   Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
   No way
   Wow really
   Sky????
   Blue???????
   IMPOSSIBLE!
   Someone call Oprah
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 27 points
6. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 20, 2013 5:45pm UTC
   Kelly Panama's in South america. So like in Africa? omg don't laugh at me I'm bad at geometry
   Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
   I DONT WANT TO LIVE ON THIS PLANET ANYMORE
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 33 points
7. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 20, 2013 5:34pm UTC
   Yahoo! Answers
   Open question:
   Can you pee out a fly?
   I used the toilet and went pee and when I looked in it there was a fly. I'm freaking out, Can you pee out a fly?
   Best answer:
   No. You can't. Think about it for 2 seconds. The only way a fly would come out of you is if it came in you whhick means you would have to eat it. Even then, you only PEE liquid, you would POOP out the fly, and not the whole either - it's called digestion, heard of it?
   If you didn't see it when you sat down, probably the fly was on the bowl of the toilet and its wings got wet with your pee, and it fell/slid into the water. Theres a small chance there was a dead fly in your panties or you stuck it to yourself but i think you would prefer the 2nd explanation.
   Asker's Rating: * *
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 14 points
8. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 19, 2013 9:09pm UTC
   Facebook_Fails Follow this account for hillarious facebook and yahoo fails
   Like Comment 13 minutes ago 3,847,650 people like this
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
9. facebook_fails
   posted a quote
   July 19, 2013 8:18pm UTC
   Yahoo! Answers
   Open question:
   Is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works?
   I would like to know if there is any spell available to become a mermaid. One that works. I am asking people that believe in mermaids. Don't say things like "Mermaids don't exist" because I take it very seriously and find it offensive. PLEASE HELP ME FIND A SPELL!
   BTW; I am also a witch.
   Best answer:
   You enter a small pond/lake. Sing this song: "I like mermaids, mermaids like me. Make me a mermaid, as slippery and disgusting as can be. I don't need feet, to run all about. I don't need to pee, what is this little spout?" Then you will have a fish tail. End of story. Good luck, Hermione.
   Asker's Rating: * *
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points
10. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 19, 2013 8:15pm UTC
    Levi Just ate a mango even though I'm practically allergic to them #noregrets
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    Watch out guys, we're dealing with aibadass over here
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 20 points
11. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 18, 2013 7:44pm UTC
    Matthew
    Why must school exisist?
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    Greg Because you can't spell the word "exist"
    26 minutes ago · Like
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 55 points
12. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 18, 2013 7:20pm UTC
    Craig I went for a run today and was distrupted by a small group of children who decided to run 5 ft ahead of me screaming as though they were being chased...making me apear to passer-by's like some sort of sweaty pedophile, and promoted an elderly man to yell "Leave them kids alone!'
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago 27 People like this
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 22 points
13. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 2:22pm UTC
    Old Spice If you havent thought about anything to be for Hallowen, why not put on some Old Spice and go as a man
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
14. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 1:34pm UTC
    Matthew
    Guess what haters, 24 astronauts were born in Ohio. Suck it guys, mybe Ohio's actually a GOOD state
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    Greg What is is about your state that makes people want to leave Earth
    26 minutes ago · Like
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 23 points
15. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 1:19pm UTC
    Facebook Fails
    Guys, Steve is following me. I think I've forgetten how to breathe
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 23 points
16. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 1:17pm UTC
    Kyle
    Over a period of 200 years, three ships perished at the same location off the coast of Wales, on the same day (December 5th) and all three had only one survivor. The tree survivors all had the name: Hugh Williams
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    Hugh Williams Does anyone want to go on a cruise with me?
    26 minutes ago · Like 354 People Like This
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points
17. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 1:06pm UTC
    Alex
    Did you know your earlobes are the same distance apart as your nipples goodnight
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    Meghan IS THIS TRUE I HAVE TO KNOW
    26 minutes ago · Like
    Alex Send me pics and I'll check for you
    26 minutes ago · Like
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 26 points
18. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 12:57pm UTC
    Kyle
    Random thought......Do stupid people relize there freaking stupid?
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    Tommy Nope.
    26 minutes ago · Like
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 24 points
19. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 12:41pm UTC
    Ashley
    JASON IS BY FAR THE BIGGEST NERD IN OUR ENTIRE SCHOOL!
    Like • Comment • 27 minutes ago
    Brandon Just watch Ashley, hes gunna end up being your boss
    26 minutes ago · Like
    Jason Highly unlikely. I dont plan on being a pimp.
    27 minutes ago ' Like
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 31 points
20. facebook_fails
    posted a quote
    July 17, 2013 12:35pm UTC
    Mike added Masterbating and Aggressive Online Skating to his Sports
    27 minutes ago Like • Comment •
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 36 points

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