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astalker

  1. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2013 2:16pm UTC
    go on google images and search:
    Billy Mays maize maze
    youre welcome

  2. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2013 2:02pm UTC
    Did you know...
    your nose runs when you cry because tears from your eyes run into your nose?
    And...
    eye boogers are the same thing as nose boogers?

  3. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2013 7:25pm UTC
    my dog was just moving his paw in his sleep, so i stopped to watch him. then he started crying so i tried to wake him up but i couldnt. turns out all i had to say was,"Treat?"

  4. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2013 7:15pm UTC
    i got punched by a chick at warped tour 2013 while sleeping with sirens was playing.
    the bada** part is it didnt hurt and i didnt go unconcious.
    the nerdy part is i got to the first aid tent with my nose bleeding and cut and blood all over me and realized i lost my glasses and my water bottle.
    *facepalm* "OW!"

  5. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    March 16, 2013 4:29pm UTC
    that moment when you click the add a quote botton, then cant remember what you were going to say, and this is what you do

  6. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    March 16, 2013 4:12pm UTC
    if you go lookin for hot water,
    dont get shocked if you get burned a little bit.
    if you really want some hot water,
    i can help you find it.

  7. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    March 16, 2013 4:03pm UTC
    I find the best people have the most hurt.

  8. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2013 10:57pm UTC
    me: closes door but doesnt latch it
    dog: barges in two seconds later
    dog: leaves without saying good bye
    me: closes door again
    dog: barges in
    dog: smells my hair
    dog: leaves
    me: closes door
    dog:
    me:
    dog:
    me:
    dog:
    me:
    dog: barges i
    me:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!
    me: closes dor and latches it
    dog:*scratch*
    me: ._.

  9. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2013 8:22pm UTC
    the moment when you figure out you can favorite your own quotes

  10. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    February 9, 2013 4:12pm UTC
    step mom: oh colbie, your such a pretty petite kitten!
    cat: O.O

  11. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    February 2, 2013 12:17am UTC
    MOO!
    because i felt like it, dont judge.

  12. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    February 1, 2013 8:10pm UTC
    plot twist: taylor lautner stops being sexy

  13. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    January 31, 2013 11:45pm UTC
    MY DOG JUST FARTED, THEN LEFT MY ROOM!

  14. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    January 31, 2013 11:04pm UTC
    I'm as ugly as i seem.
    worse than all your dreams,
    could ever make me out to be.
    and it makes me want to scream,
    when its Halloween,
    and the kids are all laughing (at me).
    the rouge,
    is a bank he's never broke,
    worth as much as a joke,
    that no one is laughing at.
    can you believe somethings are not,
    appealing as a spot,
    on the ceiling of my childhood bedroom?
    and, it's these dreams that you can't imagine,
    will never match the vision,
    that you have decided for me.
    you want to take away from me,
    things that are mine,
    and it's not your right.
    ill bet you wouldn't expect a fight!
    can it be,
    that i don't want what you want.
    and the only thing i could care for is a place in a home that is safe and warm?
    judge yourself,
    if you feel the the need.
    let me known to be,
    in search of the truth myself.
    there is a drop of blood on the ground,
    and it seems to me that its not my kind,
    i cant be sure if its yours or mine.
    im as ugly as i seem,
    worse than all your dreams,
    could ever make me.

  15. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    January 31, 2013 7:23pm UTC
    hey grandma, lets get married! i know it sounds like a crazy thing to do...
    we'll purplize the walls and we'll purplize the floor!

  16. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    January 31, 2013 7:09pm UTC
    im lonely, but not that lonely yet.

  17. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    January 31, 2013 7:02pm UTC
    i HATE it when i SPECIFICALLY tell people to give me an even number of something,( 2 m&ms) and then they give me one more thinking they are doing me a favor,(3 m&ms) then im all like,"b/tch, i will NOT eat this extra m&m!

  18. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    January 31, 2013 6:43pm UTC
    grandma: if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?
    mom: it depends on how deep the water is!
    true story

  19. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    January 30, 2013 9:11pm UTC
    you cant be a pimp and a prostitute too!

  20. astalker astalker
    posted a quote
    January 30, 2013 9:08pm UTC
    did you know the origin of the middle finger came from when people used bow and arrows? people using them would be taken captive and their middle fingers would be cut off so thay couldnt draw the bow anymore!
    true story

:)

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