I have a major problem I need to get rid of.
A couple months ago I found my first love is what you would say. We would secretly hang out after school and hold hands in school. BEFORE we went out. We were just..I can't even describe the word, but i have never been so happy in my life. He did unfaithful things like plan a date with this girl i was close with, took another girl's sport schedule, flirted with other girls in front of me, and sent a picture of a girl jumping off a bridge and saying it was me to the girl he planned the date with. But even when he did those things I would not let go. He was my first everything boyfriend, kiss, all of it. It's just something we had. That understanding. He understood me clearly and I understood him. Like I could tell him anything and get the perfect opinion. But one day, we fought, not like any fights, it was horribly low. I almost broke up with him not knowing what i was getting myself into, but after crying myself to sleep, i decided to surprise him and act mad at him then after school kiss him and make things work. He didn't want that, he wanted to break up and move on. He had so many other girls and I had no one. I have never felt so bad about my image in my life. I feel worthless. I would never be worthy enough for any guy. But what I do know is that my heart is pure. I will care and be extremely faithful to a guy. I would love him unconditionally no matter what happens. Everyday I regret every fight we ever had. And I could take it all back, I would. If i could tell him something it would be;
I love you. I know I accuse you of many things, but it's because I care and you mean the world to me and I dont want to see that with another girl. Sure we had our ups and downs, but that understanding we had, I guarentee you that we will never find it again. I know I wanted our relationship to be perfect, but now I realized it is perfect with the flaws because it's us.
But now he's with another girl. And I'm jusg the ex.
alexanicole