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Hey, my name is Ryan. I am 13 years old and turn 14 on March 14th. I've gone through so many tough things, the last resulting in some legal troubles, ever since then i would cry all night listening to the most depressing songs and wanting to never go back to see the girl that I loved the most. Whenver I see her face she gives me the most hurt look ever and she stares at me until she leaves. Everytime I think about it I want to break down and talk to my friends and just sit in my room and die. So now, as away to releive my stress and depression, I decided I would express myself through writing. I love reading everyone's quotes and I wish I wasn't depressed half the time when i read them because i can turn a happy thing into a dark evil phrase of words. This year I thought I found my true love but turns out I guess it wasn't true. Then I met another girl but we are having some trouble and I'm trying to fix that. My favorite color is Green, I play two instruments, the Clarinet and Oboe. If you don't know what an Oboe is Google it. Right now I am dealing with hardships, making stupid decisions and am constantly losing my anger. I am also constantly bullied, and I'm one to use the most realest fake smiles. People call me gay, a faggot, fat ass and just plain ugly. I don't sleep because I am depressed, I don't eat because I don't want to either because I'm very ugly and fat so yeah. :/ If you have any idea on what I could do to help me please tell me. I don't like therapists or Doctors so leave those options out. Thank You!
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adamlevinewanna_be
posted a quote
December 18, 2011 9:26pm UTC
what if the comment you posted was the last comment someone read
what if it was the last straw and someone killed themselves because of it
you would say i was kidding around
yeah right look how much kidding around you did
so much that were planning for our child's funeral
so much that were reading suicide notes and washing blood off the furniture
next time you say or right something make sure you think to yourself:
what if this was their last straw
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adamlevinewanna_be
posted a quote
December 18, 2011 9:18pm UTC
Somethings take time to go away
others are forgotten the next day
When people are mad at you it lasts for a week
when others are scared of you it lasts for years
sometimes expressing who you are helps with your problem
then again
crying
and thinking
and wondering
express your feelings too
while wondering what could've been
how she will never be in my life again
and that the pain of having half a heart will forever be there
no matter what I try to use to fill it up
contemplates in my mind I know that
no matter who I meet
their shape of half a heart will never be the exact shape that
you disconnected from my half
no ones puzzle piece will
cover gap
mend the scars
heal the ache of a heart worth an eternity of love
when you were my everything
and don't want to even see my face again
thats when i know i can't give up on you
you will always be my other half
even if im not yours
and when we walk by
I feel the spark even if your heart seems to look sideways and get sick
we walk by and I feel it
I feel the old connection still there
and thats what keeps me going
thats why I still fight for you
we had something and it cannot be broken
and thats why when you push me away
I come back to you
Stronger
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adamlevinewanna_be
posted a quote
December 18, 2011 9:13pm UTC
Love
shifts and molds things
until
they break
Format by Sandrasaurus
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adamlevinewanna_be
posted a quote
December 18, 2011 9:06pm UTC
In the summer we were the only ones
we laughed we texted
we were side by side
then you grew apart
and i wasnt ready
and without my vitals
i faded away...
into a corner by myself
never
to
be
seen
again
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