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Soccerfata
posted a quote
February 19, 2013 6:47pm UTC

So I get home and there's this random guy on my couch and he's like "Alright, I don't want to hurt you. Just put your stuff down and get on the ground. I just want your money." And I almost had a heart attack. I was like, "OMG, please no I don't have any money. I'm too young to die." Then he was like, "Nah man, I'm just messin with you. I'm your brothers friend. He's in the shower, I'm just waiting for him."
That guy is a genius....

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ChocoTaco
posted a quote
February 25, 2013 3:36pm UTC

I wish we could feed our fat to the starving children in Africa
it would solve obesity in the United States
and starvation in Africa

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TaintedCorruption
posted a quote
February 16, 2013 2:15pm UTC

Sister: What's a pedestrian?
Me: Ask mom.
Sister: I can't it sounds dirty.
Me: Fine...YOU'RE THE BIGGEST PEDESTRIAN I EVER SEEN!
Sister: MOM SHE CALLED ME A PEDESTRIAN.
Mom: But you are a pedestrain
Sister: *cries*

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
February 15, 2013 8:41pm UTC

I passed a real gentleman in Boston a few weeks ago.
Dude (into cellphone): I'M GOING TO BREAK YOUR F//CKING JAW. THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, DO YOU HEAR ME? YOUR F//CKING JAW. I'M GONNA BREAK--hold on, give me a second. There's a lady walking by.

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
February 17, 2013 4:25pm UTC

Every book
you've ever read
is just a different combination
of 26 letters.
Weird, isn't it?

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