Christina*
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9 years ago
I like this one as well. I even liked this better than the first one. Probably, because I am a dialogue person. I really like it when people are interacting in the stories. This makes things more entertaining for me. You described what the main characters did, and who they were. Although, I would like to see a bit more of a physical description for them. Its a good story, I hope you update soon reply
Christina*
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9 years ago
This is really good! I could see an action movie playing in my head. It was like a video game trailer. Your grammar seems pretty good to me. There were only a few things that confused me a bit. One, I would really encourage you to slow down a bit, especially at the intense moments so that it is easier for the reader to feel what your characters feel. You did a very good job with that when Emma and Nick were taken away. I have a little sibling, and I could feel what Emma must have felt. Another thing I want to say is, there are a lot of stories about America going to war, or falling apart. It would be really amazing if you could add that a special touch, that would make your story better than others. Anyhow, I look forward to reading future chapters. :) reply
Just2Read
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1 decade ago
This awesome!! :3 keep writing!! <3 reply
Blurryface*
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1 decade ago
turtles. and tacos. with mac & cheese. What? I like food. And turtles. Cause they're green, like my room. And they have shells. I don't like the furry ones, though. Those are bunnies. They're purple. But still cute. They aer living in my basement..Wow I am SO bored. LOL sorry Steph! X) reply
arose15
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1 decade ago
Write about a girl that wants to change over the summer reply
Blurryface*
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1 decade ago
THAT WAS AWESOME. reply
Blurryface*
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1 decade ago
Hehe this chapter was funny..lol. X3 reply
marchtoyourownbeat
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1 decade ago
This is awesome(: You're an amazing writer. I love the dry humor mixed in, too. Sorry, I'm a bit of a bookworm, but yeah, really good.(: reply
xXAGirlWithManyScarsXx* · 9 years ago
More! More!
reply
Christina* · 9 years ago
I like this one as well. I even liked this better than the first one. Probably, because I am a dialogue person. I really like it when people are interacting in the stories. This makes things more entertaining for me. You described what the main characters did, and who they were. Although, I would like to see a bit more of a physical description for them. Its a good story, I hope you update soon
reply
Christina* · 9 years ago
This is really good! I could see an action movie playing in my head. It was like a video game trailer. Your grammar seems pretty good to me. There were only a few things that confused me a bit. One, I would really encourage you to slow down a bit, especially at the intense moments so that it is easier for the reader to feel what your characters feel. You did a very good job with that when Emma and Nick were taken away. I have a little sibling, and I could feel what Emma must have felt. Another thing I want to say is, there are a lot of stories about America going to war, or falling apart. It would be really amazing if you could add that a special touch, that would make your story better than others. Anyhow, I look forward to reading future chapters. :)
reply
Messed up little child :)* · 1 decade ago
Book, nonsense phrases or potential movie
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Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
but the other story doesn't suck? Either way, story:3
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Last Serenade* · 1 decade ago
good cuz that shot sucks anyway
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Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
Niice!
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IrishRoast247 · 1 decade ago
Sounds good :)
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Just2Read · 1 decade ago
This awesome!! :3 keep writing!! <3
reply
Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
turtles. and tacos. with mac & cheese. What? I like food. And turtles. Cause they're green, like my room. And they have shells. I don't like the furry ones, though. Those are bunnies. They're purple. But still cute. They aer living in my basement..Wow I am SO bored. LOL sorry Steph! X)
reply
arose15 · 1 decade ago
Write about a girl that wants to change over the summer
reply
Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
THAT WAS AWESOME.
reply
Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
Hehe this chapter was funny..lol. X3
reply
marchtoyourownbeat · 1 decade ago
This is awesome(: You're an amazing writer. I love the dry humor mixed in, too. Sorry, I'm a bit of a bookworm, but yeah, really good.(:
reply
Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
me gusta. X3
reply
Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
i like the outfit. good chapter!!
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Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
ADSHFKJ.
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Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
AHH
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Blurryface* · 1 decade ago
No it's not!!
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Last Serenade* · 1 decade ago
This is crap!!
reply