10 reasons to oppose gay marriage
1: Being gay is unnatural, and as Americans we reject all unnatural things, like eyeglasses, polyester, or air-conditioning.
2: Being around gay people will turn you gay, just like hanging around tall people will make you tall, or like hanging out with a girl will turn you into a girl.
3: Legalizing gay marriage will lead to all kinds of crazy behavior, some people may even wish to marry their dogs, because dogs have legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4: Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5: Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage is legalized; Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage's sanctity will be destroyed!
6: Straight marriages are valid because they can produce children. Gay couples, infertile women, and old couples shouldn't marry because our orphanages aren't full yet and the world needs more children.
7: Gay parents would only raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8: Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy, like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on everyone. That's why there is only one religion in America.
9: Children can not succeed without a male and female role at home. That is why we, as a society, expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10: Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.
11: Because all of that is completely untrue. There is no VALID reason to oppose gay marriage.
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