ScratchNSniffStickers

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Member Since: 15 Jun 2011 07:52pm

Last Seen: 22 Oct 2011 02:19pm

user id: 183595

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ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
July 29, 2011 9:06pm UTC

Things to do at Walmart:
when the manager comes over the intercom, lay down in the fetal position and scream,
"AHHHHHH THE VOICES ARE BACK!"

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
July 29, 2011 8:47pm UTC

My horse went crazy I fell off got my foot stuck
in the stirrup and hung on for dear life.
Thankfully the Walmart greeter unplugged
the ride before I got seriously hurt!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
July 29, 2011 8:38pm UTC

Man:T-G-I-F, woman:S-H-I-T,
man (confused):T-G-I-F, woman (slowly):S-H-I-T
man:T-G-I-F means Thank God It's Friday;
woman giggles: Sorry Honey It's Thursday!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
July 19, 2011 9:00pm UTC

There is a phone number on the back of credit cards
that says call if card is lost or stolen.
If it's lost or stolen
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW THE NUMBER?!
IT'S GONE!!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 12 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
July 19, 2011 8:42pm UTC

JB=Jacob Black;
the buff and hot werewolf, not to be confused with
JB=Justin Beiber;
the ugly boy with the voice of an-8-year old girl.
nmf

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
July 19, 2011 8:31pm UTC

Sarcasm is your best defense against stupid.
A really big stick is a close 2nd.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
July 8, 2011 8:51pm UTC

OMG i just found out something that will BLOW YOUR MIND!!!
I was born ON MY BIRTHDAY!!!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 28, 2011 3:26pm UTC

Anyone who says "nothing is impossible"
has obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 49 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 28, 2011 3:19pm UTC

I'm not clumsy.\
It's just that the floor hates me,
tables and chairs attack me,
and the walls just get in the way
~Wiz Khalifa
~Wiz Khalifa

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 28, 2011 3:15pm UTC

I got pulled over today, the deputy walked up and said "PAPERS"
and i yelled scissors i win!
She made me get out of the car and do a bunch of tests.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 28, 2011 3:05pm UTC

How ironic would it be if someone choked on a life saver.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 19 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 24, 2011 9:27pm UTC

So, I saw a can of Lysol that was "original scent".
What the heck does "original" smell like?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 24, 2011 9:20pm UTC

I hit the snooze button so
many times this morning,
that if there was such thing
as alarm clock abuse i
would be going to jail not
work.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 24, 2011 9:10pm UTC

Two blondes were on their way to Disneyland.
They saw a sign that said "Disneyland left".
Then the cried and went back home.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 24, 2011 8:59pm UTC

No doctor i'mnot crazy i swear!!the pink evil butterflies were trying to eat me alive!!
No don't leave me in this boxed room!
They'll find me!!

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 24, 2011 8:54pm UTC

Best friends are sisters that were separated at birth and are destined to find each other once again.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 21, 2011 8:58pm UTC

math questions are so stupid!
"If i have 5 bottles in one hand and one in the other , what do I have?"
I dunno, a drinking problem!?

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 16 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 21, 2011 8:46pm UTC

Some people you know were dropped on their heads as babies.
Some were clearly thrown in the air,
hit the ceiling fan , bounced off a wall, and fell out a window.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 21, 2011 8:12pm UTC

JUST HAD A FIGHT WITH MY ALARM CLOCK
it wanted me to wake up
I DISAGREED
things got violent. The alarm clock is broken, and i'm wide awake
NOT SURE WHO WON.
nmf

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 42 points

ScratchNSniffStickers
posted a quote
June 15, 2011 8:31pm UTC

The doctor told me to go to my "happyplace"
when i felt depressed
I am now banned from
McDonald's Playland.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 14 points