Witty Profiles

SarahLee3494

1. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   July 16, 2014 8:08pm UTC
   Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn't like.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
2. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   May 13, 2014 11:52pm UTC
   I just want to curl
   up in a ball and listen to
   all of the sad songs
   Mayday Parade
   has to offer.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
3. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   May 13, 2014 11:23pm UTC
   Why can't I meet a guy like the ones I read about? Sweet, smart, witty, likes to read, funny, down to earth, and occasionally saves the world. Is that to much to ask?
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 13 points
4. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   May 13, 2014 9:28pm UTC
   NEVER
   JUDGE A
   BOOK
   BY ITS
   MOVIE
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
5. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   May 12, 2014 4:17pm UTC
   You know you're single as fuc.k when your phone is about to die and you don't even care.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
6. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   May 7, 2014 8:38pm UTC
   If I could marry pizza, I would. But it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat its entire family at the wedding reception.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
7. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   May 6, 2014 1:37pm UTC
   "I forget important things sometimes.
   Sometimes, i do think i should just give up.
   some days I can't eve remember a single
   reason to keep fighting. But giving up's
   EASY. You know what's hard? To BELIEVE
   in your own worth. To KNOW you've got
   something special in you even if nobody
   else can see it. Even when YOU can't."
   Jesus Christ did not say this.
   Mahatma Gandhi did not say this.
   ICE KING SAID THIS.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 7 points
8. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   May 2, 2014 10:21pm UTC
   A 15 year old friend gets pregnant, nobody bats an eye.Still a virgin at 20, everyone loses their mind
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
9. SarahLee3494
   posted a quote
   April 26, 2014 12:17am UTC
   Let me be the one who calls you babyAll the timeSurely you can take some comfortKnowing that you're mineJust hold me tight, lay by my sideand let me be the one who calls youBaby all the time♥
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
10. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    April 24, 2014 11:35pm UTC
    Always the Friend, Never the Girlfriend.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
11. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2014 4:39pm UTC
    person1: i can draw really well
    person 2: i'm really athletic
    peson 3: i write really well
    person 4: i'm freaking gorgeous
    person 5: i'm hilarious and likable
    person 6: i can dance really well
    me: i can breath really well
    me: chokes
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
12. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    April 21, 2014 8:24pm UTC
    When you pick a name for your kid, type it in Microsoft Word first. If the red squiggly line shows up, please reconsider.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
13. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2014 11:21pm UTC
    I don't think of it as eating grapes, I think of it as preventing future raisins. Some call me a hero.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 11 points
14. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    March 24, 2014 8:19pm UTC
    30 years ago today,
    The Breakfaast Club met for detention.
    DON'T YOU FORGET ABOUT THEM.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
15. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2014 3:00pm UTC
    "Sexy singles are in your area!"
    *looks left*
    *looks right*
    I'm the sexy single!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
16. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    January 3, 2014 11:56pm UTC
    Perfect
    I love you just the way you are
    but you dont see you like i do.
    You shouldnt try so hard to be perfect.
    Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
17. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    January 3, 2014 5:45pm UTC
    I think the worst place for there to be a fire is at the factory where those trick birthday candles are made. "Alright men, the fire is out. Lets pack it u- Dammit!"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
18. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    January 2, 2014 9:58pm UTC
    I want to build an army of mini snowmen in front of my house facing the street I will give them stern faces and use pointy sticks as arms. And once a day for 10 minutes, I will stand in front of them and give them orders like I'm a general. My neighbors are going to think I'm crazy. I can't wait.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
19. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    December 25, 2013 10:43pm UTC
    Since I am home alone, I have decided to make an arsenal of candy cane shivs. Now I can protect myself from intruders and still be in the Christmas spirit.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
20. SarahLee3494
    posted a quote
    December 25, 2013 5:42pm UTC
    I only say "Bless you" twice.
    If you sneeze a third time,
    I assume you can't be blessed
    and you're a demon
    who must be destroyed.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points

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