A guy broke into my house last week. He didn't steal the TV, just the remote. Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick Basta*d. Format by Sandrasaurus
*Horror logic* Driver: *Sees creepy lady on the side of the road* Creepy lady: Give me a ride. Driver: Sure, it's not like you look like you have the potential to kill me and dump me on the side of the road...
*Couples on wedding night* Husband: Finally, I've been waiting for this so long. Wife: Do you ever want to leave me? Husband: No! I don't even want to think about it. Wife: Do you love me? Husband: Of course, very much! Wife: Do you want to cheat on me? Husband: No, why would you even ask me that? Wife: Do you want to get intimate with me? Husband: Every time I get the chance. Wife: Would you ever hit me? Husband: Are you kidding me? Hell no. Wife: Can I trust you? Husband: Yes, darling. Wife: Sweetheart! *After 10 years* Read back to front.
Top 5 annoying things on an airplane. 1. Crying babies. 2. Kids who kick your chair. 3. Creepy smiles of the cabin crew. 4. Miniscule toilets. 5. 1 hour safety demonstrations.
2:00am: *WITTY, WITTY, WITTY* I'll go to sleep at 3:00am. 4:00am: *WITTY, WITTY, WITTY* Why are the birds chirping? 5:00am: *WITTY, WITTY, WITTY* Might as well pull an all nighter. In Spanish class: *Snores* ^^ A sad life of a Witty addict.
*Reading a sad book* Me: *Starts crying* Mum: *Comes in* Why are you crying? Me: *Blubbers* This book. Mum: Are you on your period or something? ^^ She is so caring <3
*Before watching a horror* Me: This is going to be sick! Friend: Totally, I got popcorn! *After watching horror* Me: Walk me to the bathroom, please. Friend: Yeah, I'm coming inside the bathroom too...
They're = They fking are. Their = Shows fking possession. You're = You fking are. Your = Shows fking possession. We're = We fking are. Were = Past fking tense of "are". Where = Specifies fking location. Than = A fking comparison. Then = A point in fking time. Hope it helps (: