Going to bed the other night,
(_.·´¯`·×»I NOTICED PEOPLE IN MY SHED STEALING THINGS. I PHONED THE POLICE,
but was told no one was in the area to help. they said they would
send someone over as soon as possible. i hung up. a minute later,
i rang again. 'hello,' i said, 'i called you a minute ago because there
were people in my shed. you don't have to hurry now. i shot
them.' within minutes there were half a dozen police cars, in the
area, plus helicopters, and an armed response unit. they caught
the burglars red handed. one of the officers said: 'i thought you
said you'd shot them' to which i replied: 'i thought you said there
was no one available."
-TONY GLADSTONE.