Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

PAIN_a_JOKE

  1. sheszamaszinqx3 sheszamaszinqx3
    posted a quote
    February 10, 2009 11:01am UTC
    click to see this quote


  2. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  3. X_shadow_X X_shadow_X
    posted a quote
    December 20, 2008 11:51am UTC
    Womens Dictionary
    Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n.
    A discussion that occurs when you're right but he just hasn't realized it yet.
    Barbeque (bar*bee*q) n.
    You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned every thing up, be he 'made the dinner'
    Blonde Jokes (blonde jokes) n.
    jokes that are short so men can understand them.
    Clothes Dryer (cloze dri*yer) n.
    An appliance designed to eat socks
    Diet Soda ( dy*it so*da) n.
    A drink that you by at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's
    Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n.
    The last two minutes of a foot ball game
    Exercise (ex*er*siz) v.
    To walk up and down the mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase
    Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n.
    What you spend a half an hour writing then forget to take with you to the store
    Valentines Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
    A day were you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance but consider yourself lucky to get a card
    Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n.
    comes of if you cry, shower, or swim but will not come off if you try to remove it
    ALL CREDIT TO single_and_loving_it
    thought it was hilarious so i put it up =]


  4. posted a quote
    January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC
    This quote does not exist.

  5. xoxoninjaxoxo4 xoxoninjaxoxo4
    posted a quote
    November 27, 2008 1:26pm UTC
    There was a 5 year old girl names Katy. Katy always wore skirts. It was the first day of Kindergarden. Katy met a boy named Timmy. Timmy asked Katy to climb the jungle gym, so she did as he asked. When Katy got home, she told her mom ALL about her day including the jungle gym! Her mom said, "Don't you ever climb the jungle gym! He may just be trying to look at your underwear!" Katy didn't get why this was such a big deal! The next day, Timmy asked Katy to climb the jungle gym, so she did! She got home, and told her mom about her day. Her mom was very angry and said, "What did I tell you Missy? He may just be trying to look at your underwear!" Katy said, "I tricked him Mommy, I didn't wear any underwear today!"
    -I cracked up when I heard this! Rate high if you laughed!

  6. atxQTxoxo atxQTxoxo
    posted a quote
    December 1, 2008 11:48pm UTC
    We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!
    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put
    it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us
    complaining about you leaving it down.
    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
    it that way.
    1. Crying is blackmail.
    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
    do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
    1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect
    us to act like soap opera guys.
    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the
    ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
    done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
    during commercials.
    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
    for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
    no idea what mauve is.
    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act
    like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth
    the hassle.
    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
    answer you don't want to hear.
    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
    Really.
    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
    to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
    trucks.
    1. You have enough clothes.
    1. You have too many shoes.
    1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
    1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
    couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like
    camping.
    I AM A GIRL =) i read that sumwhere n thought it was funni lol

  7. Toxic_Tears Toxic_Tears
    posted a quote
    December 1, 2008 9:06am UTC
    Web Images Maps News Shopping Sign In
    Google tm
    ____________________________________________________
    '| The worst singer ever ' |
    ' | Google Search | I'm Feeling Lucky|
    Did you mean: Miley Cyrus?
    aha this will probably get rated low. but i dont care. haters rate low, itll make me happy
    ;]

  8. Honey_Munchkins Honey_Munchkins
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2008 8:02am UTC
    click to see this quote

  9. hypercam13 hypercam13
    posted a quote
    November 24, 2008 11:47am UTC
    when he says " I LIKE YOUR SHIRT!"
    he really means ' YAY FOR CLEVAGE'
    all mine i just edited it more.

  10. xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever
    posted a quote
    September 24, 2008 1:36pm UTC
    break danceNOThe¢¾rts

  11. xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever
    posted a quote
    September 25, 2008 1:03pm UTC
    i honestly don't know what i would do with/out your [[friendship!]]i probably would die if our friendship ever ended...ily!

  12. xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever
    posted a quote
    September 25, 2008 2:10pm UTC
    i fell in love with you because you liked me!credit me

  13. xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever
    posted a quote
    October 22, 2008 5:58pm UTC
    it's taking over my life and i don't know what to do about it. they are strange thoughts and i need help. they are not terrifying they are just weird. i'm not scared of the thoughts, i'm scared of what's happen when those thoughts acculate.**all mine****depressed and don't know why****too lazy to do colors**

  14. xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2008 9:25pm UTC
    i know i may be in love,
    but i dont wanna fall head over heels for you,
    because, i dont know if your willing to c mee.. </3
    a
    t
    c
    h

  15. xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever
    posted a quote
    November 23, 2008 9:24pm UTC
    You are still in my dreams,
    you are still in my heart,
    but you aren't still by my side,
    which kills me the most.

  16. xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever xo_me_loves_you_xo_forever
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2008 2:52pm UTC
    do i stay here and sufffer or do i go away and be happy?is part of life suffering?or did god give us life to be happy?these are questions i ask myself every second of everyday!I NEED SERIOUS HELP!**true****all mine**

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles