I don't know who I am anymore. When I look in the mirror I see my flaws. And lately I've let them define me. I wish I could be happier with myself, not get the urge to starve, harm, or change myself. There are things people will never know about me. Sometimes I wish they all knew, but I know if they did they wouldn't treat me the same. That's why I don't let them know. From the outside I seem like a normal girl. But really, my entire childhood was medded up, my family is messed up. It's a mess and disfunctional and I hate my parents for it. Dad, why couldn't you have put down the beer, for just once? Could you not tell how it was effecting me? How it still does? Mom, why didn't you stop him? Or leave him? Dad, all my memories of you are the ones I don't want to remember you by. About 3 years ago you started to change, you really did try, and for the most part you've succeded. But I hate you for the memories and feelings I had for you, and that can't be changed, I can't erase the memories. Throught the countless nights I cried myself to sleep, wanting to end it all, I never did. I'm here today to prove you wrong, I will succed in life and give my kids the life I never had and always wanted.