This is a vent. You really dont have to read this. I just really need to let this out. -Yesterday. Im still unsure..as most of it, was just like a bad bad dream. I wanted it to end. Yes, i really did want it to end. I smoked a cigarette(I've never smoked before) It sucked. But, to be honest. I dont think i was sane. I dont know why i even did that. So later. When everyone was asleep. I was up at 3am. Thinking things to myself and how I wished things would be better. I grabbed my sisters phone, I know there's never anything in there, as i do really trust her. I found one of her notes in there, which was obviously a vent. (i know i shouldnt have read it, but I did. Im sorry.) It was about a guy she likes. And things arent so good between them atm, but they're good friends. Yeah, so i read it to myself. And i started to tear up. Just because of how much she liked him, and how she wanted him to fall for her. But things cant be that way, right? :/ I would be perfectly fine if they marry. You know. They'd look cute together. Oh well. Then i searched up my name in her phone. And. there. Forward inbox messages of the guy i liked (He didnt do me justice, i backed off.) , obviously sent from my phone(Without me having a clue). His number. And oh also, what my sister did with my exbestfriend. [My sister had this guys number. i dont know how, must've probably sneaked in my phone. This other day, She and my exbestfriend, Together, pretended to be the guy i liked. When i got to know that it wasnt him, but someone else. I cried for hours. It was terrible. So so terrible. And I NEVER knew it was my exbestfriend, until she came and apologized to me for being a terrible friend.] So my exbestfriends messages said "Dont worry, She'll be fine" Fine? When i cried for hours, locked in a room, with nowhere to go, wanting everything to just end. I was never fine. Pretending is a lot easier though. So. I cried all night. I cried. So so much. It broke my heart. I love my sister. So so so much. I send her weird texts just to see a smile on her face. I hug her when she cries, even when she pretends not to. I lost control of my body. I didnt know what to feel. What to do. I couldnt stop the tears from falling. I just wanted it all to end. I wanted this misery to end. I was prepared to spend a whole lot of time in hell, than this world. My eyes had turned red from crying so much. I couldnt sleep. The clock had strucked 8 and all I really did, was cry. I've lost faith in humanity.
Im just so lost. I cant find anywhere to go. It sucks. But people probably go through worse, a lot worse. This is probably..nothing. I just needed to really let it out. Please dont hate on me. I hade no clue of what i was doing. I just need to find an escape.
If you read this. Thank you. I love you.
JustAnotherPlaceToVent