Run Daddy Run
why am i so mad,
why does it still hurt so bad,
how can i be so angry and hurt at the same time,
how come i cant have your heart but you still have mine,
when will the pain stop when will i no longer care,
when am i gonna wake up and realize youll never again be there,
when will i stop hurting myself thinking about you,
dreaming these dreams that will never come true,
i guess your wondering what im talking about right,
this rambling and ranting over some stupid guy,
see there was a time when my mom was getting married,
and this weight on her shoulders he once carried,
everything was great, then three days before their wedding,
She found out she was pregnant (with me)and he said he wasnt ready,
he said to get an abortion or he would call the wedding off,
so she lifted her head and thought "hell thats your loss"
that was the last time she saw him ( I never have) to this very day,
he threatened me as a baby and so my mom and I moved away,
its been 13 years, now now I am 14,
My father still doesnt acknowledge me
even though I hear I am a spitting image of him,
i try to carry on and just forget you how much I want you in my life,
let you just carry on and be happy with your new wife,
pretend that i dont care but i do,
why the hell cant i just forget about you,
your still hurting me inside and your not even around,
how can i be so stupid, to even think of you,
why do i still wonder what you do,
I wonder if I have ever passed you on the streets,
Then I wonder, did you no it was?
Did you just act like you didn’t care?
I wonder if hes on my moms myspace
And she just doesn’t want me to no
But I hope he see’s
and reads the stuff about me daughter on hers,
but i bet you dont even take the time of day,
i bet you probably dont care anyway
i want to let go of this anger let go of this rage,
i wish you'd just look at the stupid myspace page,
And if you get married
And have another child
You better get on some running shoes,
make a fast getaway, cause thats what deadbeat dads do,
leave her pregnant and lonely the way you left me and my ma,
a single mom in college with two jobs and a new baby,
no child support because we didnt need your money,
my moms days were dark and cloudy and yours were nice and sunny,
you missed so much with me, and so i pity you,
and all along i keep thinking you have to be my dream come true,
As I got older I keep thinking how you werent there with me,
i thought about how sad and pitiful your life must be,
I’ve never seen your face except a picture
No matter what i say about my father i still want to meet him. Every night i think bout how diffrent my life would be if he were in it and i wish he was even though he left me and my mom. Rate high if you no what i feeling.
and my mom prays I never will,
i have so many thoughts no words can express what i feel,
so go about your day and dont let us cross your mind,
cause when you get tired of running, we wont be at the finish line.
Jess_TheOneAndOnly