I know exactally what I'd put in a suicide note. I know exactally what I'd write, and what pen I'd write it with. I'd write it with my auqa gel pen and sign it with my purple gel pen. Those are my two favorite pens. I'm not ready to kill myself, I'm not suicidal. But here's what I would say:
Nobody saw this coming, and I know that. I never gave any hint to it, whatsoever. But I've been hiding these feelings. I've never been able to call someone my true best friend, and have them call me theirs. Not until 7th grade. I can tell her anything and everything. I don't, but I can. She's by far my favorite person. I never really liked people.. but she's different. All my friends are. J, K, C, I love you guys. I'm sorry. M, you always said you loved me. You'd never leave me. I said the same, but yet I'm leaving you now. I'm really sorry. I know you can find someone else. Your girlfriend. You can tell her anything, I'm sure you already do. Even more than you tell me. S, I'm sorry. You had no idea of any of this, I know. I wish I got to see you one last time. These 6 years... they've been long. I've never wanted anything more than I want a little sister. Someone to tell things to, someone to teach, someone to help through this cruel world. I wouldn't let her go through anything that I did. I'd make sure she didn't. I've always dreamt of going to college, getting married, having kids, traveling the world. Being a marine biologist, or a successful author. None of this can happen though. Because I'm just too stupid. I can't get good grades. I can't grasp the concept of any of it. I can't pay attention. I've always thought of myself as ugly. The summer before 8th grade (this summer) I was told that I was ugly, that I was gross, that I was too shy, that I shouldn't try to be cool, or pretty. It all just wasted away before me. My whole life. My brother's always hated my family. Everybody in it. My other brother never visits. I was treated coldly, just because I was different. I don't even know how I was different. I loved music, animals, computer games, and social networking. I guess that's what ruined everything. Social networking. I'm just too tired of it all. I've grown to hate myself. ... I can't do it anymore.
ImJustInLoveWithYouxx