Witty Profiles

IAmAUnicorn

1. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   April 6, 2015 3:30am UTC
   I'M NOT FLAWLESSBut I'm still fabulous
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
2. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   August 8, 2014 2:55pm UTC
   A white man once said:
   ''Coloured people are not allowed here.''
   A black man turned around and stood up.
   Then he said:
   ''Listen sir, when I was born, I was BLACK.
   When I grew up, I was BLACK.
   When I'm sick, I'm BLACK.
   When I go in the sun, I'm BLACK.
   When I'm cold, I'm BLACK.
   When I'll die, I'll be BLACK.
   BUT YOU SIR..
   When you were born, you were PINK.
   When you grew up, you were WHITE.
   When you're sick, you turn GREEN.
   When you go in the sun, you turn RED.
   When you're cold, you turn BLUE.
   And when you die, you'll turn PURPLE.
   And YOU have the nerve to call ME coloured?''
   The black man then sat back down and the
   white man walked away.
   (All Credit to Majily05 on Stardoll)
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
3. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   July 1, 2014 9:41am UTC
   So I'm on vacation and just a little bit ago.
   I was laying down on the couch (where my brother is sleeping for this vacation) and my brother was pacing around and we were talking. So I said this: "Everything looks so big from this perspective." And then my brother stuck out his butt.
   MLIA
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
4. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   June 30, 2014 6:24pm UTC
   I'm home alone.
   Normal Person well home alone: *does whatever they want*
   Me: I'M GOING TO GET MURDERED!!!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
5. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   June 30, 2014 6:22pm UTC
   I'm home alone.
   Normal Person well home alone: *does whatever they want*
   Me: I'M GOING TO GET MURDERED!!!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
6. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   June 30, 2014 5:53pm UTC
   Everyone is entitled to stupidity
   But some people abuse the privilege
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 9 points
7. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   June 30, 2014 5:51pm UTC
   Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit
   Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 4 points
8. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   June 30, 2014 5:21pm UTC
   Husband: I've been thinking, Dear. Since I'm the man of the house, I want a hot meal ready the minute I get home. Afterwards, I'll relax in my chair we'll you do the dishes and run my bath. And when I'm done with my bath, guess who's going to comb my hair and dress me
   Wife: The funeral director.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
9. IAmAUnicorn
   posted a quote
   June 30, 2014 3:15pm UTC
   Does anyone else sometimes get really mad and irritated for no reason and just punch their bed as hard as they can. No? Okay.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
10. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2014 3:08pm UTC
    I mustache you a question but I'll shave it for later.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
11. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2014 12:05pm UTC
    Boy Starts With B and B Is For BadGirl Starts With G And G Is For Good
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
12. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 30, 2014 10:05am UTC
    Stop Judging Me With Your Eyes.
    See What You're Doing With Your Eyes?
    Yeah, Stop It.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
13. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2014 5:13pm UTC
    Me After A Shower: It didn't rinse my ugly off..danget!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
14. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2014 12:54pm UTC
    Sometimes I feel as if people just favorite my quotes because they feel bad for me because I don't get a lot of favorites.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
15. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2014 9:04am UTC
    I'm in a queen-sized bed and the other half of it consists of a remote control and ear buds..forever alone.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
16. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2014 8:08am UTC
    Thank you for taking time out of your busy schedule to read this -- lol just kidding. If you were busy you wouldn't be on Witty.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
17. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2014 8:03am UTC
    Horoscope: You are forever alone.
    Me: HOW DID THEY KNOW!!!!!????
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points
18. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2014 8:01am UTC
    Mustache Mood Ring: You are nervous and in love.
    Me: Basically my life story.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
19. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2014 6:28pm UTC
    I'm boredWho wants to chat with me?Comment below if you want to chat with meI'm lonely ;-;
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
20. IAmAUnicorn
    posted a quote
    June 28, 2014 5:39pm UTC
    I Go On Witty A Lot
    And When I'm On It
    I'm Usually On It For A Few Weeks
    Stalking Everybody's Quotes
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points

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