HungryToBeFree

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Member Since: 2 Feb 2012 08:00pm

Last Seen: 16 May 2012 12:41pm

user id: 270146

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Welcome to my vent account; here you'll find my inner monsters and secrets from the darkest corners of my head. My profile nor my quotes are pretty, I'm not looking for faves, followers, or pity; I'm looking for advice and love.
Let me tell you a story of a girl who's life is falling apart at the seams...
Once upon a time there was a girl; she had a average childhood, and lived in a average little town. In her youth she hung out with the boys beause she was a bit to "chubby" to hang out on the monkey bars with the girls. She was picked on a lot and cried for endless hours. She liked many people that would never like her back due to her size. One day her grandfather died,... she became depressed and she decided that enough was enough. She cut her meal proportions and finally reach a point where she stopped eating. She change for what she thought was the better; people liked her! She was known as pretty, and she finally had people falling for her. She caked her face with make-up and tried not to gain weight again. She learned the tricks to faking pretty and hiding a bit of stomach fat. When she reached 8th grade she had went from around 138lb-115lb, she still wasn't stick thin, but it was enough to be considered "pretty". She stepped out of her comfort zone and made friends, and found the kid that she loves now. Sounds like everything in her life is perfect now, huh? Well now she's a freshman, unable to make the varsity soccer team, her one goal since she was young; wishing she hadn't quit dance when she was young; struggling to make the perfect grades like her other two friends; unable to leave the house unless she has 1lb of make-up on; gaining weight; no self-esteem; dead inside; scared that she won't be good enough for him; and the newest thing on the list.. her parents are "taking a break"... she blames it on herself.. maybe if she had perfect grades, was a all-star athletic, if she was prettier, if she was nicer... if, if, if.. She has a minor amount of things that bring her happiness; soccer, dance.

HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
May 15, 2012 4:29pm UTC

Why does it have to you?
Why do you have to be the one that cares?
Why do you have to make me feel special?
Why do you have to be the one that I trust?
Why do you have to be the one that make me feel so good?
Why did you have the be the one I woke up to?
Why do you have to tell me all these nice things?
Why do you have to be the one that I want to care for?
Why do you make me feel this way?
Don't you know this will never work?

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
May 1, 2012 10:01pm UTC

What hurts the most, is being promised a future, only to have it taken away and shattered along with your heart.

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
May 1, 2012 9:47pm UTC

Sometimes I want someone to find my personal accounts, just so they could read my every thought and know just how much I hurt. Then maybe, just maybe they would understand why I'm the way I am; why I'm void of emotion, why I don't trust anyone fully, why I'm so insecure..

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
May 1, 2012 9:30pm UTC

I miss you,.. is it to much to ask for you to feel the same way about me?

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
April 8, 2012 6:34pm UTC

I f/ck everything up..
every.single.time.

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
March 30, 2012 5:18pm UTC

⚓
I'm slowly sinking..

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
March 12, 2012 9:06pm UTC

It hurts so bad to know that you don't care anymore. That it was so easy for you to walk away, while I'm sitting here dying from a broken-heart

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
March 12, 2012 8:46pm UTC

I'm such a f/ck-up.. carry on.

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
March 12, 2012 8:41pm UTC

I have never felt so alone..
I miss you so much it hurts.
NMF/tumblr

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
March 4, 2012 7:25pm UTC

If I don't eat I'm anorexic,
but if I do eat I'm fat.
I just can't win.

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
March 4, 2012 7:13pm UTC

I hate when people make fat jokes toward me, I probably the worst thing you can do/say to me; even if you are joking, I take that sh//t to heart. I don't give two sh//ts if I'm "not fat" anymore, you didn't go through the sh//t I did to get to where I am, you never had to be fat, I work so f//cking hard to get to where I am and stay that way, I'm not naturally skinny, and no matter how hard I work I won't ever be stick thin and it sucks. You should be happy that I'm eating for once, not calling me fat everytime I grab a f//cking chip.

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
March 4, 2012 7:02pm UTC

Sometimes "joking around" gets to a point where it stops being funny. When your the target of every joke, whenever you add your opinion or ask something you just get shutdown. Everything you do gets mocked, jokes about your weight, looks and skills. Once or twice with everyone I get that, but everytime I do something, or speak, it's just a little too far. Some "friends" you are.

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
February 2, 2012 8:46pm UTC

You know when you reach that point in your life where you've hit rock bottom, but you can't seem to bring yourself back up.. like a chain is tied around your foot and every time you try it drags you right back down..?

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
February 2, 2012 8:41pm UTC

You can't run away from the monsters inside your head..

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HungryToBeFree
posted a quote
February 2, 2012 8:39pm UTC

And today I looked at that blade for the first time in my life.. I've reached rock bottom.

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