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HitMeWhenImDown

Status: Lost

Member Since: 25 Mar 2013 02:12am

Last Seen: 9 Jun 2013 01:11pm

Location: USA

Gender: F

user id: 354291

14 Quotes
214 Favorites
26 Following
15 Followers
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Hey, I'm just a girl making my way through life. I'm a little messed up, I know. But I'll be okay, everything will be okay someday. I've made mistakes, but I'm never looking back.
  1. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    May 16, 2013 12:32am UTC
    & Every time I've held a Rose,
    it seems I've only felt the thorns...

  2. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    April 28, 2013 9:15pm UTC
    & When I cry
    They look the
    other way

  3. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    April 28, 2013 9:12pm UTC
    Why, when I fall, do you take a step back?

  4. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    April 28, 2013 8:12pm UTC
    The Sad Truth,
    Nobody Really Cares.

  5. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 3:53pm UTC
    Goodbyes are always hard.
    But I still wish I had gotten one...

  6. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    April 27, 2013 3:51pm UTC
    I don't talk about the things that are breaking me down inside. Not to my friends, they'd never see me as the same person again. Not to my family, they'd never understand. I don't see how talking can help anyway. I don't see how you can help me, even if you wanted to help me, I would only make you sad. Ruin your day if I haven't already. So I keep it all inside, and it hurts, but this is the way I choose to live.

  7. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2013 10:40pm UTC
    Lying to myself
    & believing it all

  8. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2013 10:29pm UTC
    To my friends &
    To my family,
    I'm sorry I've failed you once again.

  9. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2013 10:18pm UTC
    "Stay Strong"
    Easier said than done.
    "Im here for you"
    But do you really care?
    "I don't like it when youre sad."
    I'm....sorry? Neither do I.
    "It'll be okay,"
    When?
    "You are beautiful dont listen to them."
    then why are you the only person whos ever said that to me?
    "When youre sad it makes me sad!"
    Well Im sorry Im me. feel free to leave, I dont mean to hold you back, go be happy just leave me here.
    "Just smile! please be happy!"
    Its not that simple. Im sorry Im not what u wanted.
    "Why are you sad, and dont say nothing!"
    If i told u youd never look at me the same way again.

  10. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    March 27, 2013 12:22am UTC
    This is my confession, it's basically a vent, I won't judge if you ignore this, don't waste your time on me. I just need to let some things out. So this is what I've become. What I am becoming. Its not the road i thought I'd go down, not the right path, but there's no turning back now. I don't like it, but it's me now. What can I do? Do I even want to do anything? Nobody notices, the people who do don't stick around to help. I can't tell my own friends, I'm supposed to be the strong one afterall. They don't want to believe I need help because I have two other friends with serious self esteem issues that need someone to lean on, and its me, but I'm breaking at the same time i'm being forced to stay strong. I'm sure they've noticed something's wrong, I have changed, but they don't ask, they don't mention it, and neither do I. So here I am trapped inside myself, My mom wouldn't understand, I don't know who else to talk to... I've kept this all inside and hidden for so long, now it's all pouring out and I can't stop it. I want to talk to someone, but at the same time I don't, what can I say? what is there to say? I could tell you my story, everything that has pushed me farther and farther over the edge, and maybe you'd listen, maybe you'd understand too, but I don't see how you can help, you'll tell me what everyone else does. "stay strong." well I did for more than a year and look where its gotten me, I don't know how to anymore. like I said, Nobody knows anythings wrong. What am I supposed to do, just go up to my friends or my mom and say, "goodmorning, did I mention my life is falling apart? that I've been crying myself to sleep? that I feel empty inside all the time? that I'm so ashamed of what i did last night when i couldnt fall asleep for the hundreth night in a row but I can't promise I won't do it again?" I never thought I would cut, I never thought I'd go so far off the edge, but you know what? I cant say I won't do it again because the pain helped. I'm so messed up that I have to see my own blood just to know I'm still alive. Oh god what have i come to. that is if god cares, i hate myself for thinking it but it still comes up, what if the one im praying to every night isnt even there, what if he doesnt care? I'm not okay. But I don't see how talking can help. I'm falling apart and not a single person in my life knows. I have issues. But I wouldn't know what to say if someone asked me to talk about it. where would i begin? would they really even care, i'd bore them, if not just make them depressed. I'm so messed up And I just don't know anymore...

  11. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    March 26, 2013 7:02pm UTC
    Settle down, it'll all be clear
    Don't pay no mind to the demons
    They fill you with fear.
    The trouble it might drag you down,
    If you get lost you can always be found
    Just know you're not alone,
    I'm gonna make this place your home.

  12. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    March 25, 2013 10:17pm UTC
    Okay. I want you to imagine this:
    You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over. You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mom is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mum, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mum crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they've said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. The boy you liked, the one that you told everything to, that broke your heart. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your brother still doesn't know you killed yourself. He doesn't understand; Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn't stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counsellor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. The one who broke your heart doesn't know how to love any more and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn't succeed like you did, but she tried… and your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? They fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom was diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. And Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. . .My point is Things cant get better if you give up. No this isnt my quote, i saw it and reposted because I thought it would help some you, suicide should never be an option.

  13. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    March 25, 2013 12:27pm UTC
    you're not alone

  14. HitMeWhenImDown HitMeWhenImDown
    posted a quote
    March 25, 2013 2:48am UTC
    God saw you getting tired 
    and a cure was not to be. So he put his arms around you and whispered "come with me" with tearful eyes I watched you and saw you pass away. Although I loved you dearly I couldnt make you stay . A golden heart has stopped beating, working hands at rest ; God broke my heart to prove to me he only takes the best

:)

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