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potatoesforlife
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 6:29am UTC

Person: What are you waiting for?
Me: my boyfriend.
Person: will he be long?
Me: i don't know. How long does it take for someone to exist?

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๑°`°º¤ø тнe_ιмpoѕѕιвle_gιrl_wнo_waιтed ø¤º°`°๑ *
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 5:09pm UTC

life hack: get a tattoo. if the people at the job interview notice it
and look concerned, laugh a little and explain “it’s just temporary.”
months later if your boss asks why you lied and said it was a
temporary tattoo, stare off into the distance and whisper with a
tremulous voice the poor excuse for truth your subconscious
has been fighting for its entire insignificant existence:
“everything is temporary.”

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epictacos
posted a quote
November 21, 2013 6:12pm UTC

So there's this girl in my class. She's a drama queen, and whenever something happens (no matter how small) she thinks someone should fix it for her.
Girl: *drops something on the floor*
Girl: Someone should do something. Don't just sit there.
Me: *gets up and walks in circles around her*
Girl: What are you doing?
Me: The world revolves around you.
Girl: ..........

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MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
November 20, 2013 9:52pm UTC

I changed my alarm to “the real slim shady” so in the morning when it goes “will the real slim shady please stand up”
I get out of bed

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capsized*
posted a quote
November 20, 2013 6:03pm UTC

my doctor told me to eat more taco bell
well actually he said “less mcdonalds” but i’m pretty sure i know what he meant

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yourcool
posted a quote
November 20, 2013 6:03am UTC

There's a blind boy in one of my English teacher's classes and last week out assignment was to write poetry about nature... this is what he turned in:
Roses are black
Violets are black
Everything is black
I can't see.

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yourcool
posted a quote
November 20, 2013 6:06am UTC

no i will not make the first move
i will not move at all carry me

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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yourcool
posted a quote
March 8, 2013 3:36pm UTC

one time in high school i didn't read the assigned book
and i was like screw it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some bs about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book.

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